


Les Démons Cirque

by Jeniiin



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Circus, Dark, Fantasy, Hanahaki Disease, High School, M/M, Parallel Universes, Psychological, Psychology, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-18
Updated: 2017-03-05
Packaged: 2018-09-25 06:20:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 22,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9806963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jeniiin/pseuds/Jeniiin
Summary: Getting released from the Asylum was easier than he thought. Living between two different worlds was the issue.





	1. Pétale Noir

**Author's Note:**

> Luhan had been accused of being insane for as long as he could remember. He had been locked up in an Asylum since.. well since he began to walk and talk.   
> All he knew were a few things about himself.  
> He was born with Hanahaki disease, it's where a patient throws up and coughs up flower petals when they suffer from one-sided love.   
> There had been studies about this illness, normally it's born from one-sided love but only two people had actually got it.  
> The first being his mother- or so he was told.  
> The second being him. Except he was born with it rather than actually having developing it.  
> He had a number of other problems such as paranoia, depression, and looking like a twelve-year-old when he was actually sixteen.  
> Luckily he knew his age, and his birthday.  
> On his seventeenth birthday, that's when everything changed.  
> The asylum was shutting down, and the other clinics wouldn't accept him since he was already old enough.
> 
> TRAILER:
> 
> Sorry for the chinese writing/lyrics. I hope it's not too distraction >,<   
> Credits go to me for the trailer
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNV7HxUpB0Y

 

 

"Luhan-ah, are you ready for you daily shot?" The nurse asked with that fake-happy tone.

He wouldn't be happy having to work between psychos and and crazy people everyday either if he were in her shoes.

Luhan lifted his sleeve, holding his arm up.

The deer-like boy didn't really like having to take those shots. In fact, he hated them. They were completely useless. They made his friends disappear, and the music in his head stop playing.

"You're such a good boy, you get a sticker for being so good," said the nurse as she placed a sticker on his limp arm after injecting it.

The nurse rolled her cart of medications out the room and closed the door, clicking it with a lock.

Most patients in the Asylum had to swallow pills, needles weren't really allowed in case someone had a break down and somehow managed to get a needle. Who knows what could happen  then. 

The reason Luhan couldn't take pills like most 'normal' crazies, was that, if his body didn't like it, it wouldn't accept it. And when a body doesn't accept what's being put in it, it'll gag it back up.

Except Luhan doesn't gag up stomach acids and all that gross matter. 

He gags up flower petals. 

Many would find that very strange and weird, others would find it rather unique considering he, himself looks like he was made from the most delicate things in the world.

Such as flowers.

Studies didn't show how this was possible, but it was.

His body proved it.

And his mothers too- or so he was told.

Luhan had been in the Asylum for as long as he could remember. The superior nuns who mainly ran the Asylum would tell him stories about his arrival.

Some nuns believed he was possessed by an angels.

Others believed his body was the devils decoy.

He had been baptized and exorcized an uncountable amount of times. His body had been forcefully pushed under the near boiling water as the Monsignor would recite biblical verses, calling the spirits out of his body. 

Normal baptisms consisted of cool water. 

But that didn't seem to work on Luhan. They had to take it to the next level. 

His body became an experimental tool for the Priest and Doctors and some Nuns. 

The Doctors would sometimes have him stand naked for no reason as they claimed to be taking 'notes'. The nuns who believed that he contained the devils spirit would do all sorts of things to kick the spirits out. 

Some would leave him in the near boiling water for hours in the bath.

Some would try to whip the spirits out of him.

Others even tried to burn a cross into his skin.

Nothing worked though.

He still saw his 'non-existent friends', he still gagged up flower petals, and he still couldn't seem to smile.

Luhan really didn't see how others couldn't see his friends. They were just as real as he was. He even had a twin! His name was Hannie, and he looked exactly like Luhan. Except Hannie could float, and he didn't gag up flowers. 

Actually, Hannie almost never ate. He told Luhan that as long as Luhan eats, some of the nutrition would go to him. Luhan didn't understand how, but he didn't care too much.

There was Lay, but Lay didn't appear too much. He'd usually visit Luhan when Hannie wasn't around. For some strange reason, the two didn't like each other. 

But lately, both his friends didn't visit him. It must've been because of the medication.

The medication was supposed to help Luhan, but it didn't. It just made him more upset since he couldn't see his friends when he took them.

There was no point in rejecting the shots, every time he did, he would get punished.

Luhan didn't like punishments. They really hurt.

He would get punishments for really stupid things too!

If he rejected the daily shot, if he didn't listen to the superiors, or if he was caught talking to his friends.

"Luhan-ah, it's class time," a nun said as she walked in. 

Luhan got up and bowed, "Good evening Sister St.Clair."

"How are you today Luhan?"

"I'm fine, and yourself?"

"Formalities Luhan." Sister St.Clair said with a stern voice.

"I'm sorry Sister. How are you today, Sister St.Clair?"

The old nun inspected the boy before her,"I'm doing fine Luhan. It's time for class, lets go, we don't want to be late again, now do we?" 

 "No Sister, we don't."

The nun headed down the old spiral stairs to the chapel with the deer-like boy walking behind her. 

They arrived at the chapel, Luhan sat down on one of the empty benches.

Since Luhan had never been outside of the Asylum, he had to be taught in the Chapel. The nuns would often tell him how he should be more grateful that he gets to attend a Christian school while other boys his age had to deal with the sins of the regular schools.

Didn't they consider him a walking sin? He does live in an Asylum after all. 

Speaking of being schooled in an Asylum, Luhan was quiet a genius despite his mental and physical state. He was especially good at math. All sorts of math. 

Then again, every time he got punished-which was more often then you would think-he would just count. He would count seconds, minutes, hours.

Eventually Hannie would drop by and give Luhan random math problems for him to solve as a way to kill time.

He also had an interest in music. 

In his mind, music always played. The medication stopped the music from being played so he would just stay up all night till the medicine wore off so he could hear the tunes again. Since he would stay up many nights, he eventually became insomniac. 

He was always tired, but not tired enough to fall asleep.

"Luhan, can you come here and recite this verse?" Sister Lucy called on Luhan.

"Luhan."

"Luhan." She said a little louder this time.

She slammed her cane on the desk set up beside her, causing everyone but Luhan to jump.

"Luhan!" She yelled out hanging on her last strand of patience.

That strand snapped.

She stomped over to the boy sitting idly. But just when she reached him, he fell over.

Sister Lucy began to shake the boy by his shoulder but she got no response. 

"Doctor! Sister St.Clair!" Sister Lucy yelled out frantically. 

The crazies were taken away back to the concentration hall, which was a place where the crazies would walk around, talk, and do their own thing. 

It was basically free time for them, and that time was there favorite time of the day. 

The first doctor came rushing in with a nun behind him.

"What's wrong Sister?"

"Luhan collapsed in the middle of class!" 

The doctor placed two fingers over his pulse, "Don't worry Sister, he's fine."

"What do you mean? How can you tell?"

"He seems to have held his breath for too long and passed out."

"Again?"

"Again? What do you mean again?" The doctor asked Sister Lucy.

"He's been doing this lately, we don't know why though," Sister Lucy said.

"Has Doctor Lee came in lately and checked up on Luhan?" 

"No, and he won't be coming back either. Monsignor  Suho doesn't believe that psychiatrist has been of any help." 

"Has Luhan been outside of his room lately?"

"Again, no. He is being punished. But his punishment will be over by tomorrow afternoon."

"But Sister, I don't think it's good for the boy to be locked up for so long. How long has he been under punishment?"

"His punishment was to last two months. After tomorrow, it will be over."

There was no use in arguing with the Superior nuns of the Asylum, even the doctors knew it. If someone was to be under punishment, there was no way out of it.  The doctor stayed silent for a few moments before speaking up again.

"Alright then Sister Lucy, I recommend having him be taken to his room to get some rest, perhaps you can continue class later on when he awakens?"

"Will do, Doctor."

Luhan was then taken by the nurses and thrown back inside his cell. 

~*~

A few hours later and Luhans eyes fluttered open, finding himself back in his room.  He was on the moldy cement floor. It must've already been night time since the tiny window didn't cast any light. The only source of light he had came from under the door to his cell. 

The halls were very poorly lit, but they had more light than his pitch-black cell. Luhan had been staying in that room for an amount of time that he had lost track of. 

The boy crawled to the cot in the corner of the room, although the cot was extremely worn out, it was better than the cold floor. 

Luhan hugged his Knees and began to hum the tune that played in his mind, just then, Hannie appeared.

"What's up bitter stuff?" Hannie said as he sat next to Luhan.

Luhan just tilted his head and looked at his 'twin'.

"Want to play a game Lulu?"

Luhan shook his head. 

"Do you want to dance?"

He shook his head again.

Although the room was pitch black and couldn't see Hannie, he could hear his whispers and feel his presence. 

Luhan opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

He tried again and croaked out, "Lay."

Luhan couldn't see Hannie, but he imagined he had a disappointed look on his face.

A few minutes of silence passed and then Luhan heard a familiar voice. 

"Do you want to hear some music Luhan?" Lay said.

Luhan nodded his head, soon violin music began to fill his head.  The deer-like boy had heard this very tune over a million times, but it was his favorite tune. 

The music was rather haunting, and had a strong gloomy feel to it. But Luhan didn't care. He loved it, he felt like it describe his state of mind perfectly.

For the rest of the night, Luhan sat in the same position.

He some times would start rocking himself a little bit, but other than that, he stayed frozen like a statue. 

He began to wander through his thoughts as the music filled the background.

 _What color is sanity? What does it look like?_  
If sanity was a person, who would it be?  
How does Love feel like? Is it warm? Is it cold? 

Soon enough, sun light cracked thru the tiny window above. 

The guards started banging on all the doors down the hall, waking up the asylums residents.  

The door to Luhans room swung open and the nurse from the day before walked in. 

"Time for you morning meds Luhan-ah," she said with her usual fake-happy tone. 

But today, Luhan decided he didn't want to move. 

So he didn't.

"Luhan, I need you arm sweetie," she said sickingly-sweet.

The nurse crossed her arms and began tapping her foot, running out of patience.

"Strap him down."

The two nurse guards forcefully sprawled the boys body down on the bed, he began struggling and wiggling like crazy. They strapped his arms down, soon he began kicking his feet violently. 

One guard pulled out a small black metal baton and started hitting the boys legs. Bruises formed all over his legs almost immediately. 

Even though his legs were battered, he didn't stop struggling from their grasps. 

They continued to beat him tell his body gave up and went limp. The nurse stepped closer to the beaten boy and spoke up.

" I didn't want to do it the hard way but you made me, oh well, it's okay. Today is your last day of isolation after all. So I'll let you off the hook today, but just so you won't do it again next time, no breakfast for you today." 

She pulled out a long needle and quickly injected it in Luhans arm. 

Luhan began screaming at the top of his lungs, slowly his body became heavy with each passing second. 

He was sedated, but the medicine was just enough to keep him awake. 

"Call Superior Sister St.Clair. Now," the nurse ordered. The two guards quickly rushed out and called the nun on the old wire phone down the hall.

Soon enough, she made her appearance in Luhans cell.

"What is it?" Sister St.Clair questioned.

"Well uhm, Luhan was being quiet a struggle when it was time for his morning dose."

"Is that so?" The Superior nun said as she slowly walked towards Luhan, lightly beating her can against her opposite hand.

"Luhan, Luhan. What ever shall I do with you my troubled boy?"

She eyed him like a lion eyeing a lonely deer. 

"Lets give Luhan a bath, make it  _extra warm_.  Let him soak until other wise said so. He needs to reflect on his behaivor."

The nurse and guards nodded as she left the room. They quickly un-strapped the boy and put him in a wheelchair.

The four headed down to the bathe. Once they arrived, they uncovered one of the bath tubs and filled it with sultry water.

Then, they stripped the boy of his clothes and placed him in the water. After the boy was fully submerged in the water, the guards placed the sheet of fabric and tied it to the edges of the tub. 

"I hope you reflect on your behavior Luhan, " the nurse said mercilessly. She turned around and began walking out of the tub room with the two guards following behind.

The water was sweltering hot, and Luhan felt like he was being cooked. He hated hydrotherapy. It wasn't treatment. This was full on punishment.

"You should've just taken the shot willingly ya'know," Hannie whispered in Luhans ears.

Luhan couldn't see him through all the fog and steam, but he heard him perfectly. 

"I-I have to pee..." Luhan said.

"Hold it in, you know this will only get worse if you don't."

" But I really, really have to go," he said squeezing his thighs together.

"You can go ahead, but I warned you."

Luhan was able to hold it for a good twenty extra minutes till he felt like he was about to explode.

Tears pricked Luhans eyes, he felt so weak and helpless. He doesn't belong here. He should be in the outside. Not locked up here.

He rested his head back on the rubber pillow that was attatched to the tub and began humming.

At least the music still played on in his head.

* * *

 

 

**A/N**

**Hello! So here's the first chapter:)**

**Please comment and tell me what you think, I love comments!**

**Here are a few definitions or somethings that were in the story in case you didn't know what they were**

**Hydrotherapy-** Patients were placed in a canvas hammock, arranged and tied onto a metal frame in the bath, covered with another sheet with only a hole for their head. Water was kept at body temperature, although sometimes hotter or colder, and would be filled up to the neck. Immersed to their chin, patients heads would rest on a rubber pillow.  
Although designed as a treatment, this was often noted and used as punishment or a form of confinement. Supposed to have a calming effect on those with manic-depressive psychoses, not to mention prevented development of bed sores, these baths could last from minutes to hours to days.

**Picture for better understanding:**

**Monsignor- pronounced like mon-senior, definition:** When the bishop of a diocese believes that one of the  **priests**  under his authority should be honored for his exceptional service to the church, he can nominate that **priest**  for the title of  **monsignor**. The Pope reviews the nomination and makes the final decision.

 **Also the tune that plays in luhans mind, is the same tune in AHS asylum opening^^** **Last thing, the asylum set up is very much like to the one in AHS (american horror story)**


	2. Not today. Not ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING! SOME SCENES MAY BE DISTURBING! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

 Luhans screams and cries echoed down the hallway as Sister St.Clair lifted her cane of choice in the air and brought it down against Luhans thighs leaving welts and gashes on his pale sensitive skin. Her cane was long and thick, made of the finest oak.

He was currently bent over her desk getting punished for his behavior. The hydrotherapy from earlier had made this whole scenario a lot worse than usual.  His skin was softer after that bath, causing the lashes to immediately swell his skin and gash it, leaving a few trails of blood to seep out and drip down his thighs.

"You. Have. Misbehaved," She said between each lash," And as. Such. You . Will. Be punished!"

Luhan cried and screamed hysterically, he begged for her mercy, but none was given. 

"Sister! Please! I-I'm...s-sorry!" He begged as tears and snot pooled beneath his face.

His punishment was to be 25 lashes, and she was on the 18th lash. 

As she raised her arm for the 19th lash, Little Sister Se Ra came rushing in, "Sister Superior there's-"

"Can't you see I'm busy Sister Sera?" Sister St.Clair interrupted. 

Sister Sera bowed quickly and said, "Yes Sister, but this is an urgent matter!"

Sister St.Clair turned around and faced the Little Sister,"Oh really? What could be so urgent that you suddenly burst into my office interrupting me during a punishment?"

Luhan was silently thanking every god out there for the fact that Sister St.Clair drifted her attention at the young nun.

"Monsignor Suho said there's an emergency meeting to be held in ten minutes and it is mandatory you be the first to attend!" The young nun quickly said frantically.

"The Monsignor himself said so? Fine, take this rebellious boy down to the concentration hall. I'll have to deal with him later."

Luhan was lifted and placed in a wheel chair, his head limped to the side. His face was stained with tears and his eyes were blood shot.

The boy couldn't feel anything below his waist other than the throbbing pain that caused him a growing headache.

What's even worse was  that the regular dose of medication had been doubled. The music in his head wasn't there to calm him, and his friends weren't there to comfort him.

He even felt sleepy.

Luhan finally arrived at the Concentration hall, the music that always played on the old turntable in the room rang out.

_Dominique, nique_   
_Nique s'en allait tout simplement_   
_Routier pauvre et chantant_   
_En tous chemins, en tous lieux_   
_Il ne parle que du bon Dieu_   
_Il ne parle que du bon Dieu_

He was wheeled to the corner which he usually sat in,passing the mentally unstable.

As the music played on, there were crazies who danced along as though they were drunk.

Some masturbated uncontrollably.

Some bashed their head against the moldy stone wall.

Others talked to them selves non-stop, often yelling.

There were those who cried, then there were those who stared blankly at nothing.

Luhan was used to all of this. 

It used to frighten him when he was younger, but now this just seemed normal to him.

The Concentration  Hall was a room the crazies sat most of the time. It was by far the best place out of the whole asylum, even though it drove them madder unknowingly.

The whole asylum was the complete opposite of happy. It was everything negativity had to offer. The nuns described it as a way to get closer to God, but it wasn't.

 _This place is sick. This place is twisted. And that stupid song made it even worse._  Luhan thought to himself.

He at some point, had a friend in the Asylum. His name was Do Kyungsoo, but he preferred being called D.O.

Luhan was told that D.O had skinned his parents and sister, along with their dog. He made a furry hat from their remains. 

The fur coming from the killed off dog, and the 'fabric' being the skin of his family.

But their bodies hadn't been discovered for weeks. It was until his neighbors couldn't bare the foul rotting stench coming from his backyard.

If only he had done a better job burying them, then he wouldn't have gotten caught.

In those few weeks, the first being when the boy had murdered his family, he took on even worse hobbies. 

The mad boy then went and murdered his boyfriend, only to fuck his rotting body before eating his entire thigh that he kept in the fridge. 

He guessed his 'perfect' boyfriend tasted just as good as he looked.

You can say D.O found him rather _delectable_.

D.O himself told Luhan about the time he got to play doctor in his basement just before he was brought to the Asylum. 

_The story had went something like..._

One evening, D.O had gone out to the park and brought home an eight year old girl along with her twin sister. He was always fond of twins, so he wanted to see just how alike they would seem face side by side. Literally.

He locked the girls up in his basement for three days, forgetting to feed them. When he went down to check on them, they hung limply by the chains on their wrists.

D.O unchained the first girl and laid her down on his table in the dim basement, "Hey don't fall asleep now. We're just getting started," he said with a devilish smile.

He looked over to the twin hung on the wall and said with a stern voice,"and you too, if I see those pretty eyes shut, I'll cut off your eye lids."

Those words alone were enough to wipe out any trace of tiredness and replace it with utter fear. D.O quickly strapped the girls hands and feet down on the table and cut open her soiled dress that she had been wearing for the past 3 days.

He put on his lab coat and gloves, and picked up a scalpel. 

 _Maybe a butcher knife would do the job better_  Kyungsoo thought to himself.

"This is gonna be _so much_  fun," he said sickingly as he put the scalpel down and picked up the butcher knife instead. 

Terror was evident in the twins eyes as D.O lifted the knife in the air and chopped off the strapped sisters left arm off. 

An ear splinting scream sounded all throughout the constricted room as D.O began laughing maniacally. Oh how much her enjoyed those sounds.

He grabbed the bottle of  hydrochloric acid and began pouring it over her left thigh. The substance slowly eating away her flesh exposing the muscle tendons. He refilled the bottle pouring some more acid, watching chunks of her thigh muscle slide off her, making a pile on the floor while the rest of her muscle hung off the little thread of flesh she had left. 

Soon, her whole left leg was a bubbling pool of acid and blood on the ground. All that was left of her was an arm, a leg, her head and body. 

Kyungsoo looked at her body, considering what to do next.

"Since we don't have another table, we'll just have to work on you in your current position," Kyungsoo said to the chained up twin on the wall.

He quickly chopped off her arm and said,"I'll be borrowing this, you cute little button."

D.O made his way to the half- conscious twin on the table and began stitching her sisters arm to her body.

His stitches were sloppy, but he wasn't a professional after all.

He was only sixteen.

The psychotic boy walked back to the chained sister and sawed left leg off,"I'll be needing this too."

He stitched her leg on to her sisters body too. D.O looked at the masterpiece he had created...but it was missing the final piece.

The face.

Now that was a real task. But it could be done.

He walked over to the strapped twin on the table and caressed her tear stained face.

A sinister smile crept on his face as he shoved two fingers in her eye socket and pulled her eyeball out. He put it in a jar on his tool table and walked over to the chained twin.

"I'll make you two be one," he said as he gouged her eye out with the same hand.

The screaming was non-stop, but his basement was perfectly sound proofed. No one would suspect a thing. And that sound was what he loved the most.

He shoved the eye into the other twins eye socket.

She seemed perfect, but something was still missing.

What was it? Ah, those beautiful lips. 

He grabbed his surgical scissors and cut out half of the strapped twin lip out.

 _Ew_ _. She looks gross like that. Better make thi_ s snappy. Kyungsoo thought to himself.

Quickly, he cut the other twins lip out and stitched it to the other half of the lip that was still on her sisters face.

Once he was finally finished, he sighed in satisfaction.

"You both look so perfect! Now you're closer than you've ever been, you two must be happy," he said.

"But you two need to heal up, I'll be back soon you cuties," he said waving his bloody hands at them.

Two days later, he went back to check on them. 

But sadly, all his hard work began to get eaten by maggots and other disgusting critters. 

The eye that he had placed in his final masterpiece was now a ball of maggots and roaches eating away the juices in the eye sack. He went and picked up the rotting piece of art he created and set it in a chair in the corner of the room, but as he placed the body down, the left arm fell off--ripping out of the stitches he had done.

"Aw man," the boy said as he picked up the arm.

Just then, he heard footsteps above him. Multiple footsteps.

A second later he was tackled down by an officer. In response to the situation, he began to laugh psychotically.

He was dragged out of his home and shoved into the backseat of the cops car.

The courts decided that he was mentally unstable, and that was how he ended up in the Asylum. 

Months later, Kyungsoo managed an escape, leaving Luhan behind.

He was never found.

Although the boy was completely twisted, Luhan still liked him since they always talked.

He was his first real friend- a friend everyone could see.

Luhan felt the urge to go to the bathroom so he wheeled himself slowly out of the room and down the hall. 

As he made his way down the hall, he heard faint talking. He got closer and listened to the conversation.

"-Monsignor Suho, what ...you mean?"

"-Goverment...Asylum...Too old."

Luhan could only hear bits and pieces, they must be holding the meeting here. He leaned in, trying to focus on the conversation behind the wooden doors.

"Superior Sister St.Clair, we need to immediately transfer all the patients to accepting clinics."

"B-but Monsignor Suho, how long do we have? Why is the Asylum shutting down all of a sudden? There must be a reason behind all this."

Monsignor Suho took a deep breath, "Sister, all I know is that the patients need immediate attention, I haven't been told about the details. We have approximately six days until the place must be completely evicted. "

"Little Sister Sera, I need you to start making calls to all the accepting clinics and transfer as many patients as you can,"  Sister St.clair said.

"Yes Superior Sister."

Luhan heard her foot steps nearing the door. His reflexes were quick as he hurriedly wheeled him self down the left hallway.

_The asylum was shutting down?_

_Should he consider himself lucky for finally being able to get out of this hellhole? He did grow up here though, what if the other clinics were worse? He's never been outside these walls...what if people thought he was a monster?_

Although he's grown up here, this place was far worse than any place he could imagine. He's seen newspaper articles about the outside world. It looked so wonderful, if only he could experience it just once someday.

Some of the patients that had come and left had told him about the outside world. They told him about Theme Parks, but Luhan had a difficulty imagining what those were. 

He figured it was a better place than _here_.

Luhan looked like a twelve year, but he didn't have the brain of one. He wasn't dumb, and knew exactly what went down in the darkest pits of the Asylum. He knew every secret and piece of history it held.

He did grow up there after all.

Death hung in the air.

There had been many deaths, and Luhan had witnessed quiet an amount of them. Either they were crazies fighting to death, suicides, or the punishments were too much on the poor fragile souls.

If he had any thoughts of possibly missing this place, any trace of that was completely wiped out now.

He would never miss this place.

_Not today._

 

_Not tomorrow._

 

_Not ever._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: heres the second chapter!  
> Don't forget to comment and upvote:)


	3. A Way Out

Everyone in the Asylum was gathered in the chapel. Luhan had a feeling he knew what the announcement was going to be about. 

"What's going on?" Hannie said.

Luhan shrugged in response. 

"Do you think it's because this shit hole is shutting down? Are we going to be free?"

"Settle down, settle down. We are gathered here today to  talk about a very important matter," Sister St.Clair said.

The crazies fidgeted in their seats, anticipating what was going to happen next.

"You all are going to be having a new home soon. This house of God is going to be finally taking a rest, so therefore, all of you will be sent to a new home. We have already found the homes you will be sent to. So gather your belongings and expect to be sent off within the next few days."

The chapel was awfully silent.

One of the lesser crazies, Luna, spoke up. "So uhm...we're going to be transferred to another crazy home?"

"No, it's not a 'crazy home'. It's another house of God that you will be sent to. It's a lovely place. And with that, Monsignor Suho would like to say a few things," Sister St.Clair said as she stepped aside.

"Good evening my fellow children of god," he said.

"I hope you all are having a splendid afternoon. As you all heard, you will be all transferred to different homes. Some of you will be sent in pairs across the state, some will be scattered around the country. I will make an effort to visit each an every one of you. Let's all pray for a good and safe future."

After the prayer and few more things Monsignor Suho said, the gathering was dismissed.

Luhan was about to walk out the chapel along with everyone else until he was called by the Monsignor.

"Luhan, a few words please."

The boy stopped in his steps and turned around. 

"My boy, come here."

Luhan went over to Monsignor Suho and the nuns. They sat him down and looked at each other.

"Luhan, we- we have some not so good news for you," one of the nuns said.

He tilted his head to the side questioningly.

"We have found a clinic for almost all the patients....but none of the clinics seemed to accept you...Now we know your a big boy, and so we're still trying to find a placement for you," Monsignor Suho said

"Okay."

~*~

3 days passed and the Asylum was more than half empty. Most crazies were sent off to their new  clinics. The remaining ones were just waiting for their time to arrive for departure. There was no luck in finding a clinic to accept Luhan. But he didn't care.

The nurses gave him smaller doses of medication, and the nuns were so busy, they didn't seem to care if he misbehaved.

He didn't misbehave that much anyways. 

Hannie and Lay would spend the whole day with the said boy. Except, as per usual, Lay only showed up when Luhan didn't want Hannie, or when

Hannie simply didn't wanna come out and play.

Today, Lay was with Luhan.

"Why is the sky always gray?" Luhan said as he stared out the window immersely.

"At least it's not black," lazily replied Lay as he laid on the floor.

"But it's black at night, why is that?"

"Because the sky likes dark colors. Like you."

"Why is that?"

"Why do you want to know?"

Luhan thought for a second. There wasn't really a reason as to why he wanted to know, so he let it go.

"Lay?"

"Hm?"

"Why is the sky always gray?"

"Because it's cruel."

Lay stood up and walked over to Luhan, he caressed his cheek as he stared into the smaller boys eyes. 

"Lay?"

"Yes my love?"

"Why are your hands always cold?"

"Because they need you to fill them with warmth," he leaned in and planted a kiss on Luhans forehead.

"Why is that? Why do they need me?"

"Because they love you," Lay said as he landed another kiss on Luhans pastel pinkish lips.

"What is love? What does it taste like? Is it cold? I think it's cold."

~*~

Luhan wandered the massive halls of the Asylum as Lay trailed behind him. 

These halls were filled with memories of Luhan. Every corner, every space, they all had Luhans presence in them. This is where he would run and play, where he learned the violin and piano. This is where he learned to walk and talk.

Some nuns told him he was dropped by the heavens. But he believed otherwise. Why else would they try so strenuously to cleanse his body of the evilness his body possessed?

He remembers when he first met Lay and Hannie, Hannie was the same age as him, but Lay had always looked the same.

 "Luhanie! Luhanie! Stop running! You need to take your medications!" Sister St.Clair said as she ran after the seven year old boy.

_Luhan ran as fast as he could, laughing and giggling. As he ran, he saw a boy identical to him peaking at him from the end of the hallway. As he neared, he slowed down, ceasing to a stop._

_He stared at the boy in front of him and tilted his head to the side. A bright smile crept onto his face, "Hi! I'm Luhan and im-" the small boy held up his hands and showed six fingers, "seven years old!"_

_The boy infront of him reached out and pulled a finger out, making Luhan hold up seven fingers._

_"I'm Ulhan, but you can call me Hannie," the boy in front of Luhan said._

_Sister St.Clair finally caught up to the boy and called him," Luhan, if you don't come here right now, I won't let you have any cookies!"_

_Luhan turned around and said with a cheerful voice, "Sister! I made a new friend! His name is Hannie!"_

_The young nun looked at him with confusion **there's no one there though.**_

_Luhan turned around to look at his new friend, but he wasn't there._

_"Aw, he was just here!"_

_"It's okay Luhan, now take your pill. Or else no cookies for you young man."_

_The small boy took the pill and swallowed it. Sister St.Clair took his hand and walked him back to his room._

_When they arrived, Luhan began feeling nauseous, "Sister, I-I don't feel too good."_

_She knelt down and felt his forehead,"What's wrong Luhan?"_

_A minute later he was trying to cover his mouth from puking. But it was no use._

_There were flower petals fluttering all over the floor._

_Tears made their way down his cheeks as he began sobbing, "Sister! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean too!"_

_Sister St.Clair stood and stared at him with utter disgust._

_She grabbed his arm and dragged him down to the Chapel._

_"Monsignor Suho! Monsignor!"_

_The newly appointed Monsignor looked up from his bible and smiled at the nun,"Yes?"_

_"Luhan. He has done it once again. His body is in dire need of cleansing!" She cried out._

_The cleansing was one of the worst things little Luhan had to go through. They used to use room tempertured water, but that never seemed to work so they upgraded. The water would sometimes be icy cold or almost boiling hot. There was no in between. The Monsignor would recite biblical verses so loud that the stained glass windows would shake. Or so Luhan thought._

_The Monsignor ordered for a baptism preparation for Luhan. Within five exact minutes, Little Luhan was being dunked over and over in the tub of freezing water._

_They didn't give him enough time to breath in when his head was pulled back up. He began choking, but none noticed._

_When the baptism was over, his body had went limp, he was unconsious._

_They took it at as the "evil spirits" had left his body, and that his soul was resting._

_When he woke up, Lay was sitting at the edge of his bed stroking the little boys hair._

_"W-who are you?"_

_"I'm Lay, nice to finally meet you Luhan."_

_"How do you my name?" Luhan said innocently._

_"I know everything Luhan. I'm Lay."_

_"Do you know how old I am too?"_

_"You're seven years old."_

_"Woah that's so cool!" Luhan tried to sit up, but he couldn't. His body was strapped down to the bed by his arms and legs._

_"M-mister Lay...Can you unstrap me?"_

_"I can...but...I won't."_

_"Why not? Please? I'll give you my strawberries."_

_"As tempting as that sounds, if I do, you'll get punished again."_

_Luhan looked sad at that. Why couldn't he just be unstrapped? What if he had to go pee? Or if he got thirsty?_

_He stared at the ceiling as Lay got up and started walking to the door._

_"Where are you going?"_

_"I'm leaving now, if you need me, just ask. But make sure no one is around because next time I come, I'll bring you something nice."_

_And with that, Lay was gone._

_Luhan didn't see him open the door, but he was gone. Just like that._

_Lay knew exactly when and where Luhan would call for him again._

_It was exactly four days later when Luhan called for Lay._

_And true to his words, Lay had brought Luhan a basket of black strawberries._

_They were juice and sweet as little Luhan scarfed them down.  It was past his curfew, and he knew he wasn't supposed to eat. But they looked so tempting, and he's never seen black fruits before._

_Lay was like his protector._

_Except he was never there when Luhan needed him most. And if he was, he would stand there and watch troubled little Luhan._

Luhan continued to wander around aimlessly until he bumped into someone and fell back. He looked up and saw a panting young nun.

Little Sister Sera. 

She was pretty young, perhaps in her mid-twenties. She had large innocent eyes, and porcelain skin.

Someone could easily mistake her for a doll.

"Luhan, there-," she tried catching her breath,"-you are. There's some issues that needs to be discussed, follow me."

Luhan followed the nun as she lead him to Monsignor Suho's office. Once they arrived, he was signaled to sit in the seat in front of the desk. 

Sister St.Clair sat in the other seat in front of the desk, Monsignor Suho sat in his leather chair behind the desk, and Little sister Sera stood by the door.

"Hello Luhan, how are you today?" Monsignor Suho said.

"I'm doing swell today, thank you for asking." Luhan replied automatically.

"Luhan, son, we have some critical news for you...We tried applying you to clinics all over the state, and some even across the country. Yet none of them would seem to accept you or that they were already full. But! Nonetheless, we came up with a solution." Monsignor Suho explained.

Sister Superior spoke up," Yes, we have decided that you're now old enough and that perhaps you should discover the outside world. But, there are rules. And they must all be followed. In a few days, you will move in to a home, and you will be provided a care taker."

As soon as the words "discover" and "outside world" hit Luhans ears, that was all he could think of.

_Finally._

_A way out._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hello!
> 
> Next chapter, things will really start rolling. I was gonna keep writing, but it would've gotten too long. Sooooo I'll just save all the interesting stuff for chapter 4^^  
> Ask me stuff, tell me what you think so far about this story.   
> Tell me your predictions on what will happen in the next chapter^^  
> I love reading you comments!   
> Till next time you loevly readers<3


	4. Pétale blanc

Two days left.

 

In just two days, Luhan will be set free.

 

Well not exactly.

 

The Monsignor and nuns held many meetings for the past few days since he was told he would get to live on the outside. _With a nurse to supervise him of course_. And with the attendance at weekly meetings with a support group for troubled kids-or as they would like to refer it as- God's Inner Circle. Not to mention his weekly visits to a psychiatrist. And attending Church every Sunday, and Wednesday to keep him cleaned of evil spirits. Although he was free, he was still caged.

 

Basically, he was going to be living a shitty life-as he always had- but with minor changes. For instance, he gets to live on the outside. He gets to attend a school. A _real_ school.

 

He gets to eat better food.

 

But he had a long list of rules to follow.

 

Maybe he can experience love too?

 

He hoped so.

 

~*~

 

The final day had come. He stood by the gate, waiting for whoever it was that was going to take him away.

 

He held onto a small plastic bag that contained all his belongings. Superior Nun St.Clair had given him his baby blanket,  the thing he was wrapped in when he was handed over to the Asylum.

 

It was a creamy white color, and it seemed to be hand made. It was like a small knitted blanket, and on the side, his name had been delicately stitched in with a lace. A burgundy lace that outlined the blanket and had his named stitched with, it read _"Luhan"_

 

He had that in his small bag, along with a few other things that were probably going to be useless to him. A toothbrush, socks, and a golden crucifix he was given to hang in his new home.

 

Oh, and he was given a violin.

 

A gift from the Asylum, since they knew how well his playing was.

 

The car finally arrived. The nuns and nurses began to hug Luhan one by one as they said their farewells.

 

"You be a good boy Luhan," Sister St.Clair said.

 

"Yes Sister St.Clair," Luhan said with a bow.

 

"No need to bow now, you've always been like a son to me."

 

Luhan wanted to laugh at that. _A son? Son my ass,_  he thought.

 

He got in the car and watched the Asylum and the nuns and nurses shrink as the car drove further and further away from that wretched place.  He lowered the window and stuck his face and arms out. The wind felt amazing as it ruffled his hair, the fog's water droplets hit his arms, moistening them.

 

Luhan felt as though he was reborn.

 

He reached for his plastic bag and pulled out the golden crucifix and examined it with disgust on his face. Luhan threw the damned thing as hard as he could out of the window and watched it land somewhere between some bushes that were already far behind as the car drove.

  
 

~*~

 

The nurse that was to take care of him was young and seemed kind. She had blonde bob-cut hair, and a soft face. Luhan expected her to be old and in a nun outfit that he was used to seeing, but she wore casual clothes.

Luhan got out of the car, grabbing his small plastic bag and  violin case along with him. He took a deep breath of the city air. The car drove away, leaving him and the young nurse standing in front of a shady looking building.

 

"You must be Luhan, right?" she said.

 

He nodded in response.

 

"I'm Choa, nice to meet you,"  she held out her hand for him to shake it. But he didn't take it. He just stared at her hand awkwardly.

 

Choa shoved her hand back in her pocket and spoke up again,"Let's get you settled upstairs , then maybe we can go shopping?"

 

Shopping? What?  Luhan thought to himself.

 

He followed her into the building, which seemed worse than it did on the outside. It smelled horrid, and the walls seemed as though they were about to crumble. The wallpaper was an unsanitary beige, and was peeling. The lights flickered constantly, and the elevator- which he's never seen before- seemed like it would plummet him to his death the moment he got on it.

 

"Calm down, this is gonna take us to your room. It's faster than stairs," she said to Luhan as she noticed how pale he had gotten as the elevator went up.

 

Once they got to his now "new" home, Choa held up two keys dangling by a small chain. She handed one to Luhan, and stuck one in the door.

 

"This is your copy, make sure you don't lose it," Choa said as she opened up the door and stepped inside.

 

Luhan looked around in wonder, the room was dim, and there were furniture covered in plastic sheets. The place didn't look too bad to Luhan, it's not like he even had a place to call "home" before this very place. Choa on the other hand, she seemed happy on the outside, but on the inside, all she wanted to do was turn around and run out the door. Probably quit her job too.

 

She only took the job offer was because the pay was doubled, and her living expenses would be covered. Choa didn't know she would be living in a crack house though. The moment she got out of the car that dropped her off, her mind was screaming 'run' at the sight of the shabby apartment-more like crack house- building.

 

On top of all that, she had to take care of a psycho. He seemed pretty normal, except for the way he stared at everything in wonder. Even at her.

 

_Maybe he's really stupid._

 

She clasped her hands together and looked at Luhan with a smile that was too sweet," Okay, let's have a look around, shall we?"

 

Luhan nodded slowly.

 

"This is  going to be your room, and over there is the bathroom," She said as she pointed to a door 4 feet across from his. His room was small, but at least it had a window, and not rusty bars and moldy cement walls and floor. His room was already furnished, though it was the minimal amount of basic furniture that were usually needed. The walls were painted brown, and there was a small twin sized bed with a little lamp on the night stand in the corner. A desk and chair were placed on the opposite wall next to the window which was covered with a black curtain. A small closet was on the same side of his bed, but on the other side.

 

He liked it.

 

They stood in the living room, luhan stared at Choa as she had her finger placed on her lower lip as if she was deciding.

 

"Luhan, let’s uncover the furniture. Grab that side of the sheet," she said signalling to the end of the plastic sheet covering the small couch.

 

After a good 30 minutes of uncovering furniture, Choa suggested they do some shopping.

 

They went to a uniform shop and ordered a uniform for Luhan for the school he would be attending. Next, they went to do a bit of grocery shopping. Luhan was so amazed by all the things he saw, but he didn't speak a word.

 

Finally, by night Choa had taken him to a small street food stall and ordered fish cakes.

 

"You like those, they're good. Right?" Choa said, hoping she would get a response from the boy.

 

"Luhan, tell me about yourself. I saw you have a violin, you like to play?" Obviously the answer was yes, or else he wouldn't have carried the damned thing.

 

He just nodded in response.

  
 

~*~

 

Five days have passed, and Luhan had only spoken less than 15 words.

 

Although, today, it would be his first day at school. Well, not exactly. His uniform came in, and Choa needed to go to his school to complete some forms so that he could finally start attending.

 

Luhan had tagged along with the young nurse as they stepped on to the grand campus of Soo Man Academy.

 

"Luhan, you sit here. I'll be out in a bit." Choa said as she pointed to the seat outside the office door.

 

Luhan nodded, but Choa was already inside by the time the words processed in his mind.

 

Not even a minute passed, and there was Hannie. Prancing around, and humming.

 

"Hiya Lulu! Didja miss me?!" Hannie exclaimed with too much joy.

 

"Hannie...where have you been?"

 

"Oh, I dunno. But hey, look! We're free now! Let's play a game," Hannie said as he jumped onto the seat next to

Luhan.

 

"No. Sister Choa said to stay right here."

 

"You know, you don't have to say 'Sister' anymore. C'mon Lulu! I'm soooo bored, I wanna play," Hannie said with a childish pout.

 

"Fine, but we have to be back before she comes out."

 

"hehe don't worry lulu!"

 

Ten minutes had gone by, and Luhan was found in the Grand fountain in what he assumed to be the gardens. The place was breath-taking. Hannie and him were playing tag until they found themselves in this little paradise.

 

_If heaven is real, this must be it._

 

The garden was filled with wild white roses. There were other kinds of flowers, but the roses stood out the most.

 

Right in the middle of the garden was a Grand fountain. Atop the fountain, was a statue of two, kissing intimately.

 

Their bodies embraced each other in ways Luhan wished his was.

 

Luhan doesn't know how, but unconsciously he found himself under the spilling water, attracted to the fountain. He was snapped out of his daze when he was yanked out from under the fountain. He was drenched, and Choa was fuming.

 

"Luhan! Do you have any idea how long I have been looking for you?!"

Luhan looked around, Hannie was gone. Choa shook Luhan by his shoulders, "Luhan! Why are you blocking me out?! We live together, I'm you caretaker! The least you can fucking do is acknowledge my existence you fucking sick retard!!"

 

Luhan seemed very unfazed on the outside. _He didn't know what affection, or being taken care of felt like. How was he supposed to know that his actions were bothersome?_

 

"You know what? Forget it. We're going home." Choa stormed off in the direction of the School's gate, while Luhan trailed behind leaving wet footprints from his dripping body.

 

For the rest of the day, Choa had given up and let the silence linger in the air. She would occasionally get up and

warm up a cup of noodles, and then sit back down and continue working on her laptop. The only noise there was emitted from the staticky television in the living room. Luhan stayed in his room for the rest of the day. When night fell, he didn't even bother to turn on the lights. He just sat by the window and stared out into the street below.

 

"Lulu.... I want to go outside..." Hannie whispered. Hannie just laid on the floor, staring at his 'twin' stare out the window.

 

"You wanna go outside? Why?" Luhan replied in a whispered, slow tone.

 

The moonlight shone over his face, making his features seem as though they were glowing.

 

"Pleeease, I really am bored. I want to go outside."

 

Luhan got up and walked over to the living room where Choa was. He stood above her, his face was stoic, his gaze pierced right through her. His eyes seemed hollow. Nothing shone in them, almost seemingly dead.

 

Choa looked up and was startled by the sudden appearance of the boy.

 

"Y-yes Luhan?"

 

"I want to go outside."

 

"It's night though, why do you want to go outside?"

 

"I would like to take a walk, I'll be back. I promise."

 

Choa sighed, _it's not like it would make a difference if this boy disappeared anyways._

 

"Okay, don't get lost. Meaning you can only stay on this street. Okay?"

 

Luhan nodded and headed to the front door. Hannie trailed behind him squealing with joy. It would be his first time

exploring the outside world. Luhan slipped on his shoes and grabbed his key.

 

The chilly night breeze welcomed the deer like boy, and his 'twin'. They strolled down the street, right past a dark

alley.

 

Suddenly, Luhan was yanked back. He quickly turned around, but before he could see the figure, he was hit on the back of his neck with a bat. His world dimmed and went completely pitch black.

 

"-Han....Lu...Han...." a familiar voice said in a lullaby-like way.

 

He knew that voice. Lay.

 

Luhans eyes began to crack open. Darkness. He couldn't tell whether his eyes were open or closed. But he could hear faint cheers, and voices all around him. His arms felt sore. Luhan then noticed he was hung up by his arms. He swung his legs, nothing was below his feet. He didn't know how high off the ground he was, but the rope around his wrist was strongly tied, and holding his whole weight up.

 

All at once, his world went bright white as the lights began to flash around him.

 

A crowd began to roar as the curtains fell, revealing the sight of the boy hung up by his wrists. Luhan frantically looked around, he was in a giant cage, hung up by his wrists. The crowd was huge. He slightly squinted, focusing his eyes on the faces of the spectators. They were all masked. Not just any masks though.

 

_Fancy masks._

_Golden masks._

_Diamond masks._

_Lace masks._

Some masks covered  the spectators entire face, some only the top half. Either way, he could see everyone's eyes focused on him. He was on a stage, and he could see a man walk onto the main stand right in the middle of the stage below him. The area he stood on began to rise, he held up a speaker and began the event.

 

_"Ladies and gentleman! Welcome to this year's annual Lotto! Tonight, we have a special one-and-only product! Who will be the lucky winner tonight? Who will take home this great product? Everyone, I introduce to you.... la pétale noir!"_

 

_La pétale noire?_

 

The lights flashed even brighter on him.

 

Luhan was la pétale noire.

 

 

 

 

 

**A/N: Here's a lil picture of the statue of the garden, an the garden**

****Imagine the statues on top of the fountain tho

****


	5. Annual Lotto

  
  
 

"-han."

 

"Luhan."

 

"Luhan wake up, you're going to be late for school."

 

Luhan's eyes cracked open. He sat up as his hands were reaching up and rubbing the sleepiness away from his eyes. He looked around and found himself in his room. Not in a moldy cell. Not in front of a crowd. Luhan looked at his wrists, they had very faint bruises on his pale complexion, not very visible unless they were held directly up to one's eye. _Pretty_.

 

"Luhan, c'mon, get dressed,"  Choa said leaving the room.

 

The doe eyed boy got up and slowly put on his uniform, when he turned around, he found Lay sitting on his bed. He got up and walked over to Luhan and caressed his cheek softly as he gazed into his eyes. Luhan leaned into the pair of cold palms closing his eyes as tunes began filling his head.

 

Suddenly Choa barged into the room snapping Luhan out of his daze. She held her palm out in front of him, in the other hand she had a glass of water.

 

Pills.

 

“Here, your daily meds,” she said bringing her hand closer.

 

Luhan shook his head.

 

“You have to take them, you have no choice. Come on.”

 

Luhan visibly swallowed and grabbed the pills with a shaky hand and downed them with an entire glass of water

 

“Good boy, now c’mon. You’re going to be late for school if don’t get a move on,” Choa said as she placed a brown, leather messenger bag over his slim shoulders.

 

They walked to school together. The first half of the walk, Choa had both her headphones in while Luhan looked in wonder and curiosity at everything. At some point during the second half of the walk, Choa put the headphones on Luhan.

 

That was the first time she saw a smile creeping up on his lips. A warm smile.

 

~*~

 

Luhan sat outside the principal's office as Choa discussed some matters with him before Luhan could go to his new form and first classes. He stared at her as her mouth moved, he was unable to make out the words, his eyes drifted to a boy walking down the hall carrying a large stack of books.

 

The boy had a melted caramel skin tone, his jet black hair covered his eyes but Luhan could see the round glasses underneath his long bangs. He was carrying six books that were seconds away from falling from his arms. Which, of course, they did. The boy had tripped over nothing, causing the books to scatter all over the floor.

 

Luhan contemplated whether he should go help the boy or not until Choa’s voice snapped him out of his daze.

 

“And here’s some money in case you want to buy food, okay?”

 

Luhan nodded at her, but she had walked away before he had managed to move his head. He looked at the fallen boy who caught his eyes. They stared at each other for a split second before he gathered his books and scurried off like a trapped mouse who had found an exit.

 

~*~

 

“Good morning class, today we have a new student joining us. Introduce yourself please,” she said with encouragement.

 

Luhan just stared at the students who whose gazes were burning into him. Some whispered to each other, some were asleep already. But one boy in particular stood out. It was the fallen boy. Luhan wanted to go and say something to him… But what if the boy got scared of Luhan? They hadn’t actually met, but Luhan felt some odd connection.

 

“Are you that much of a twat that you need your sugar daddy to hold your hand while you say your name?”

 

Luhan looked at the owner of the voice, and my oh my, did he look godly. His clothes seemed weird, but that attracted Luhan even more. He didn’t understand what the boy had said, but he guessed it wasn’t good as the teacher snapped her stick on the desk. At that action, Luhan was startled so much he jumped. It reminded him of Sister St.Clair ‘corrections’. That hag, Luhan thought.

 

“Luhan, go sit over there,” she said pointing to a seat in between the tan boy and the boy who had that god-like aura.

 

Luhan sat down and stared at the boy who had spoken up who was on his left side, then to the tan boy on his right. The tan boy quickly looked away as the other boy spoke up.

 

“Luhan ay? Cute name, like you. I’m Sehun, but you can call me Daddy,” Sehun said.

 

“Really? I can call you Daddy? I've never had a Daddy before” Luhan gushed excitedly, unaware of the questionable looks he got from the people around him. Sehun stared at him in disbelief, but Luhan was too busy looking at him affectionately to notice.

 

Sehun muttered a _“What the fuck?”_ as he looked away from Luhan. _Why are all the good looking ones bat shit crazy?_ He thought.

 

Just then, Hannie appeared in the seat next to Sehun. Luhan snapped out of his daze and could stop his mouth falling open in shock. This was the first time Hannie had appeared while there were other people around.

 

Hannie held his index finger up to his mouth, signalling that he should keep quiet. Then he spoke up, “Are you that stupid? He didn’t actually mean your father, he’s too young. Ask if he’ll be your brother instead,” Hannie chirped. He had a mischievous smile on his face, but Luhan took his advice anyway.

 

Sehun turned to glance at Luhan again, whose expression had changed and now showed he was in deep thought.

 

“Aren’t you too young to be my Daddy? Maybe you can be my brother! I’ve never had a brother before,” he said too happily.

 

Sehun’s mouth dropped open, _did...I just get...bro-zoned?_ Luhan heard the boy on his right giggle a bit. Even Hannie had a hand over his mouth to his laughter. However Luhan did notice a flash of sadness in Hannie’s eyes, he would just have to ask him about it later, it was unusual to ever see Hannie upset.

 

_What’s so funny? Did I say something wrong?_ Luhan thought as he furrowed his brow.

 

~*~

 

The day went by pretty quick, at some point Luhan wandered to the fountain he had seen the other day and fallen asleep. He woke up when he heard rustling and his name being called. A figure hopped out of the bushes and scurried away as Choa came into the garden.

 

“Luhan, it’s your first day and you skipped most of your classes. You must take them seriously! Now come on, we have a few places  to go today.”

 

They drove for a good half hour. Luhan enjoyed the ride as he stared fascinated by the world outside the window. There was a light rain which made everything seem surreal.

 

Once they arrived at their destined place, Luhan and Choa stood outside a tall, dreary building.

 

“Okay Luhan, we’re gonna see your doctor. Are you ready?”

 

He nodded in response. Bracing himself for what was to come.

 

“Hey Luhan! How are you today buddy? I’m doctor Jin, but you can call me Jin.”

 

_There it was again, that fake-happy tone that Luhan was so used to._

 

“I’m doing swell Doctor Jin.” Luhan said with an equally fake happy tone, his eyes void of emotions.

 

“Great, let’s go through the usual list, and then talk about your day,” Jin said showing a forced grin.

 

Jin inspected Luhan's profile carefully.

_Name: Luhan Xi._

_Case: Hanahaki disease, Severe Schizophrenia, Mild short term attention span, Depression._

_Date of Birth: 4-20-99_

_Age: 17_

_Height: 5’7ft_

_Weight: 120lbs_

“Okay Luhan, seems like everything is good. Let’s talk about you now, how was your day, how do you feel right now?”

 

“I feel…”

Luhan took a deep breath and slowly closed his eyes as if he was thinking deeply on how he truly felt.

 

As his eyes cracked open he was met with darkness and he exhaled, his breath coming out shaky. The once silent surroundings came to life as music filled the room. He couldn't see anything and his mind flashed back to his room in the asylum.

 

He wonder where he was and when he tried to get up, he found his whole body was restricted. He started to panic and struggled against the bindings but he had no luck.

 

The thick scent of cigarette smoke and alcohol invaded his lungs and nose as he heard cheers, clinks of glass and other unfamiliar noises. He wiggled a little and found a wall behind him. He pressed his back against the wall, trying to protect himself from the unknown that lay beyond his blinded vision.

 

“You got the Pétale noire?”

 

“Yes sir, he’s in the backroom.”

 

“Bring him here, I want to see my prize.”

 

“Certainly sir.”

 

A man with a black lace half mask walked up to the overweight man who downed yet another glass of whiskey.

 

“What did you buy JYP? Another useless lavish item? I hear everyone talking about how you spent one million won like pocket change.”

 

“No, no. Tonight, I bought a unique item. Truly one of a kind,” JYP chuckled to himself.

 

“Are you participating in the annual Lotto Poker this year?”

 

“Why would you ask such a stupid question? Shouldn’t I be asking you if you would dare go up against the Gambling Champion?”

 

The man laughed at that statement, “Whatever you say JYP. Although, if my memory is correct, I did hear Rin say that this year's Champion’s name was in fact not JYP but…”

 

“Rin? She must be bluffing for sure. Suho, you know I’m the only cham-”

 

_“Ladies and gentleman! Who here tonight dares go up against the Lotto’s Poker Ultimate Champion… drum roll please… the one, the only Kai!”_

 

“RIN!” JYP furiously roared, as he stomped over to the where the first round of poker was being played.

 

“Is there a problem JYP?” Rin said with an evil smirk.

 

“So you do know how to say JYP, then why the hell did you say _Kai_?” JYP sneered, murderous intent dripping in his tone.

 

Rin couldn’t stop the smile that creeped onto her face. “Well if your fat ass wasn't too busy spending money on prostitutes, then you would realise that Kai is the next best asset in this establishment. Especially considering he has brought in thrice the amount of money you ever did and he has only been here four days.”

  

“Well fuck you, and your asset, add me in this damn game this instant. I’ll show you who the real fucking winner is.”  

 

“Oh gladly, J. Y. P. I just hope you bring your A-game or someone is going to be a very sore loser this evening,” Rin said with her signature devil smile.

 

JYP glared at her viciously, “just shut up, you slut. Put 100 chips on my deck. Well don't just stand there and smile. Get on with it.”

 

Rin ignored the man, she couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor man, if only he realised that his anger was only going to lead him to his ruins, and possible a heart attack with all the extra weight. Her smile widened more than what thought was possible as she moved the stack of red and black chips into the middle. He was just lucky she didn't bash his head with her stick.

 

After 5 rounds, and 5 complete loses, JYP was running low on his limit on betting money. He had one thing left, and he was willing to bet on it. However Kai wasn't interested in playing anymore.

 

Kai got up, ready to collect his reward when JYP sudden spoke up. “Wait, we’re not done yet.” Kai smirked at the man, “ **you** may not be done, but **I** am.”

 

“You can't just leave like this,” JYP fumed. “Oh, but I think I can.” Kai said smugly, “besides you have practically nothing left to play with, at least nothing of interest.”

 

“Fine, I will throw in _La Pétale Noire_ and mark my words _I will_ win.” JYP said sternly.

 

“Hmm… The Pétale Noire… Interesting. Well I guess we will have to see about that,” Kai said with a devilish smirk as he threw his dice one last time.

 

_La Pétale Noire,_ Kai thought to himself, _isn’t it worth a million dollars? Maybe Suho will sell it for three times the price._

 

But what Kai didn’t know was that, _La Pétale Noire,_ was not an object- but a soul. A tainted, yet a delicate pure soul, just like it’s name. _La Pétale Noire._

 

Fifteen minutes later, JYP was a raging mess in the bathroom. He smashed the fancy mirrors, he shattered the expensive cups and vases. He had lost the game. And _La Pétale Noire._

 

In the bathroom on the opposite side of the casino there was another fuming person, but this man wasn't wrecking the toilet in anger.

 

“Kai! What the **hell** were you thinking? JYP was one of our best clients and you just pissed him off!”

 

“Suho, dear sweet Suho. We may have lost our best client but I have found something much, much more valuable.”

 

Suho cocked an eyebrow, “and just what might this _valuable_ item be.” Kai smirk deepened, “well our treasured ringmaster, I have got us the Pétale Noire.”

 

Suho’s mouth dropped open from shock, “you must be kidding me?” Kai grinned evily, “but of course I am not.” Kai walked away leaving a wide eyed Suho behind.

 

Rin felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist, she ignored the heaviness of the head on her shoulder and carried on stacking the chips. Kai pouted, “Rin it's rude to ignore a man you gave your innocence away to.”

 

Rin laughed, “you may have been the first, but you certainly weren’t the last.” Kai sighed and let go of the short woman, opting to lean against the wall. “So where is my prize?”

 

“In the warehouse,” Rin said, clearly uninterested by the conversation from the lack of emotion in her voice. “I'll get one of my men to pick it up from the warehouse then.”

 

Rin laughed, making Kai furrow his brow in confusion, “what's so funny? It can't be that hard to carry a box.” Rin’s laughter got louder, “you are really quite an idiot sometimes.”

 

“What, what do you mean?” Kai said his voice laced with confusion but Rin just laughed and walked away. _He is going to be very surprised tomorrow_ , she thought.

 

Luhan felt his numb body getting picked up and pushed around a bit. The bindings that dug into his his ankles were gone. His legs were weak from lack of use, causing him to stumble backwards as he got pushed to and fro.

 

He almost fell, but was caught and fell against something that felt like a body. A body that was built and strong, he could feel the defined chest against his back. The scent of the person who was now carrying him invaded his nose, and soon filled his head. Luhan felt like he was floating.

 

It felt nice.

 

He liked this feeling, that he was drifting off into nothingness.

 

Soon, after what felt like forever, the blindfold came off.

 

Luhan blinked at the harsh light that attacked his sensitive eyes. The light too blinding after he had spent what felt like days in darkness. He blinked slowly a few times before he managed to open his eyes to a mere squint.

 

He could barely make out his surroundings but he knew they were unfamiliar and bizarre. He looked around him and found himself being stared at by unfamiliar faces. There were two boys with red hair, but they had a big height difference.

 

One had slightly drooped eyes,decorated with winged eyeliner and the other had unruly curly hair with ears that stuck out. There were other people surrounding him but they were too far away for him to make out with his eyes in narrow slits.

 

But there was one face he immediately  recognized and he couldn't help but smile.

 

Big doe-like eyes. Heart shaped lips. The only real friend had, rather the only friend he had that others could see.

 

D.O.

 

He wanted to yell his name, but a tall man with pastel pink hair blocked his view. Monsignor Suho? Unlike the Monsignor, this man had an air of authority about him and Luhan couldn't help but cower a little under his scrutiny. He was surprised by the smile the man gave him, but he knew it was far from welcoming.

 

“Everyone, gather round. I have an announcement to make. The last one here has to play doll on the spinner while Sehun practices his aim.”

 

_Sehun? Is hyung really here?_

 

Immediately, eight boys rushed to stand around them.

 

_“Who's that? He's kinda cute… I can't wait to ruin him!”_

_“Do you think we have a new member?”_

_“Wow, I wonder how his poor soul ended up here? More importantly I wonder if he has any valuables on him. Or mayb-”_

_“Shut up Chen, Suho is talking.”_

 

The pastel-pink haired man, Suho, spoke up, “This here,” he pointed at Luhan who looked like he wanted to crawl under a rock, “will be our newest member. Until further notice, it will be a string member. So if you have any needs, ask it.”

 

“What’s it's name?” The boy with the cheshire smile asked.

 

“It’s name is-” Suho was cut off.

 

Everyone turned to look at the boy who sat on the ground. But, just as Luhan started to wriggle uncomfortably under the men's stares, someone spoke out.

 

“Luhan.” The familiar heart-shaped lipped boy suddenly said. Everyone looked at him in disbelief, it was a well known fact that D.O. never spoke unless it was necessity or Kai.

 

“D.O.-” Luhan squeaked as the latter's gaze landed on him. Even Luhan was a little surprised by the reassuring smile D.O. gave him.

 

“Be quiet you. Only speak when allowed to do so. I do not recall giving you permission.” Suho snapped at the frightened boy, who immediately flinched at the harsh words.

 

Kai  sighed, “is it necessary to be so aggressive towards him. It is rather distasteful.” Kai said scowling at the man. The men around him looked at Kai in shock.

 

It was one thing to speak back to Suho, but it was another to do it in defence. This was the first time Kai  tried to defend someone, he hadn't even defended D.O from the ringmasters wrath.

 

“Kai…” D.O said as his gaze drifted from Suho and back to Kai.

 

“It seems that you know this Luhan quite well then,” Suho said with a sneer. The anger was evident on his face but he knew that he could not do anything in fear of upsetting Kai, though judging by the look on Kai's face, it might not be a problem this time.

 

Luhan finally plucked up the courage to say something, feeling safer knowing that D.O. was here to help him, “why am I here?” He asked in a timid voice.

 

Suho looked at the frightened boy, a devilish smirk making playing on his lips. “There are two types of people in this world. Those who steal, and those who are stolen from. And today, I just stole your future and soon your soul will be mine. What I do with them is entirely up to fate.”

 

With that he walked away, a swish of tailcoat left in his wake, as Luhan tried to understand just what had happened in the short span of time.

 

He knew despite D.O.’s companionship, life here would be hard. He could only hope that it didn't get any worse.

 

Luhan was left with the ten boys who stared at him. Some had a look of lust. Some had a look of curiosity. Some had a look of complete disinterest.

 

But there was one look that Luhan caught. A look of pure hatred.

 

_Hyung._

 

* * *

 

_**A:N: So here's chapter 5! I hope you liked it^^** _

_**Don't forget to comment and upvote^^** _

_**Special shoutout to my amazing beta <3** _

 

**_Can you guess who was sending hateful glares at luhan? Any theories about  this story so far?_ **

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	6. Introductions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a poster for this story btw:) You can see it in ch 1~the poster is a huge hint itself about this story ;) Do you know what it is?

  
  


_ “There are two types of people in this world. Those who steal, and those who are stolen from. And today, I just stole your future and soon your soul will be mine. What I do with them is entirely up to fate.”  _

 

Those very words repeated in Luhan's head like a mantra. He was currently standing in the middle of a group of boys, who seemed to be around his age, gawking at him like he was some sort of foreign creature.

 

Some had a look of lust, some had a look of curiosity and the rest had a look of complete disinterest. 

 

But there was one particular look that stood out to Luhan. A look of pure hatred.

 

_ Hyung. _

 

His legs unconsciously brought him closer to the ethereal boy. The boy who held a stoic, expressionless face. Yet those eyes, held so much hatred. 

 

What was it, that could possibly darken those orbs so much?

 

Luhan reached out to caress the boy's face; until another hand got a hold of his wrist, twisting it painfully. Luhan looked at the boy with confusion causing the boy to scoff at him. 

“It seems that fresh meat over here has a death wish.” The boy said with a sneer.

 

“It touched Sehunnie,” a boy whispered in the back.

 

“It shouldn’t have done that… I hope it doesn’t get put on the spinner….”

 

“Hey, it has a name, you’re being rude!” 

 

“Shut up Chen, go juggle some eggs or something.”

 

“Bitch what? I know he ain't talking to me like that. Nuh nuh hunny, he best not be talking to me like that. Someone best talk to him best to him before I do, because imma hurt his feelings.” Chen said vehemently with his signature shark smile. 

 

The other members of the circus stared at him in disbelief. It was a unanimous decision to ignore him. Needless to say there were fifty different conversations going on.

 

Luhan turned around and stared at the group of boys who kept bickering to each other. 

One of the boys noticed Luhan staring at them so he elbowed the boy next to him.

 

“Baekie! It’s looking at us!” 

 

“Ow! Channie that hurts!”

 

“I swear you’re so damn sensitive sometimes. Always going on about how strong you are. I call bullshit.” 

 

One of the boy’s walked up to Luhan and bowed before he stuck his hand out. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Luhan. I’m Kris.” 

 

As Luhan was about to place his hand in the open palm, a snake slithered out of the latters sleeve and wrapped itself around Luhan’s arm. His face immediately went ashen white.

 

“Oh, our bad, you should get used to that though, I  _ am  _ a snake charmer after all. You never know, maybe you’ll be my little helper.” Kris chuckled as the snake slithered back into his sleeve and up to his neck.

 

“Hey! I thought I was your helper!” a cat-eyed boy yelled as he crossed his arms.

 

“I’m kidding Tao, you’ll always be my helper. Too bad you're too scared of these harmless guys.” Kris said as he petted one of his snakes like it was a kitten. 

 

Luhan heard someone mutter  _ harmless my left tit _ under their breath.

 

As soon as Luhan took a step back, another boy wrapped his arms around his shoulders and gave him a shit eating grin.

 

“I’m Chen, nice to meet you… and your valuables,” he said with a wink.

 

Chen began to feel Luhan's sides up as if he was searching for something that only Luhan had. 

 

“Um…” 

 

Sadly, Chen didn't find anything, making him pout. Luhan heard someone mutter  _ disgusting  _ under their breath.

 

Another boy, Baekhyun, carted wheeled up to Luhan and bowed. Except his bow was quite unusual for he bent backwards. “And I’m Baekhyun. The lighest one out of all these fatasses.”

 

Luhan heard someone mutter  _ yet you eat the most _ under their breath again.

 

“Excuse you, you eat 90% of our food. If anyone is a fatass here, it’s you.” Tao said.

 

“You’re just jealous that you’re too heavy to be thrown in the air.” 

 

“Whatever. I walk on a fucking rope.”

 

Baekhyun turned his attention back to Luhan and pointed at the trapeze set hanging from the ceiling. “You see that over there? Me and my Channie work those.”

 

“Swings?” Luhan asked.

 

“Mmm kinda but not really. You’ll see pretty soon how they work. But if you touch them without my permission, I’ll break your neck,” Baekhyun said all too sweetly despite the threat.

 

“I’m Chanyeol, I work the trapezist with Baekie. But I’m also a fire breather. Fire breathing and eating was my main thing but then the other flying trapezist left so that’s why I help him. Maybe you can help him now! Hey Baekie maybe he can be your partner? Don’t mess him up tho, who knows when we’ll get another string-”

 

“Do you ever shut up? You’re so damn annoying always going on and on. Shut up already! And you barely can take a bite of fire without crying. You’re ‘fire technique’ is as pathetic as your whole being.” The stoic faced boy spat.

 

Everyone was silent for a while until Baekhyun spoke up when the boy left.

 

“That’s Sehun the knife thrower. He’s always been a prick so don’t mind him. Actually don’t go near him. He won’t hesitate to  _ ‘miss’ _ on his spinner once you’ve been placed on it. 

 

“Or you can totally go on his spinner, it’s always a fun show!” The cat-eyed boy suggested. “I’m Tao by the way, the tight rope walker. Only the lightest of the lightest can do that job, also Kris's helper.”

 

_ “There he goes again,” _ Baekhyun sighed.

  
  


Luhan heard some mutter  _ do these guys ever shut the fuck up  _ under their breath. This was the fifth time he had heard muttering but he couldn't pinpoint the location.

 

“Where’s Kai-oppa?” Chanyeol asked, ignoring the small male.

 

“For the fucking millionth time Chanyeol, you can’t call another guy ‘oppa’. It’s Kai-hyung. Hyung.” Kris said.

 

“Yeah but he’s just so cool! I love Kai oppa! I wanna be just like him someday.”

 

“Do you love me enough to get into my pants?” Kai said as he suddenly walked up to Chanyeol but was quickly pushed away by Baekhyun.

 

“Yes oppa! I would d-”

 

“Channie! Legit what the fuck! What bout me you asshole?!” Baekhyun whined. 

 

“Go seduce some other slut you fucker,” Baekhyun hissed at tan male.

 

Luhan heard Chanyeol complain about being called a slut but Luhan ignored them. He was too encaptured by the latest addition to the room, who was practically dripping with charisma.

 

“My pleasure,” Kai said as he walked towards the newest member. 

 

“Um… where’s Soo-hyung?” Luhan asked in an almost whisper.

 

“He’s probably either sleeping or…  _ training _ . Did everyone introduce themselves properly? Who am I kidding, these guys can barely do anything without fucking up.” Kai said taking a deep breath and yelling, “Line up!” 

 

In less than a second, all the members were in a perfectly straight line, height order judging by the looks of it.

 

“That’s Baekhyun the flying trapezist. Don’t share your food with him, he’ll eat it in a blink of an eye. Next.”

 

“That’s Chen the Juggler. Don’t let him near your stuff, he’s a little thief. Next”

 

_ “Hey! I am not!”  _ Luhan heard Chen mumble

 

“I SAID next.” Chen quickly scrambled out of Kai's burning glare.

 

“This is Xiumin, he mostly works behind the scenes and off Circus grounds, you won't be seeing much of him so don't worry your pretty little head. Next.”

 

Luhan recognized Xiumin's face, he was the guy that sold him off!  _ Asshole. _

 

“That’s Tao, the tightrope walker, he has mood swings so be careful about what you say to him. Next”

 

“That’s Chanyeol, he’s Baekhyun's partner with the trapeze act. Next.”

 

_ “I love u kai oppa~”  _ Chanyeol said in a sickeningly sweet tone, Luhan could practically see hearts in his eyes.

 

Kai smirked and just waved Chanyeol off, not bothering to even voice his thoughts.

 

“ That’s Sehun, the knife thrower, he is a dick, stay away from him. Next.” Sehun just glared lazily at them both before stalking off.

 

He heard someone mutter  _ prissy ass brat _ under their breath, Luhan decided to just let the comments slide for now. He would try and figure out who it was later.

 

“You already know D.O, he’s the Lion Tamer.” Kai said, snapping Luhan out of his thoughts.

 

“Lastly we have our snake charmer Kris, don't let his looks deceive you, he actually has the brain capacity of a chimp.”

 

Kai turned to face Luhan.

 

“And I’m the magnificent Kai, I’m the fire breather and the show opening performer. You can be as close as you want with me, in fact,” he leaned in and started whispering into Luhan's ear, “my door will always be open for pretty faces like you. Let me show you my room.” 

 

Kai pulled Luhan up and dragged him out of the grand tent and towards his room. Luhan didn't even bother to look around, he was too preoccupied in trying not to trip. 

 

There was an assortment of junk on the floor and Luhan had about as much class as a pigeon. If all the cuts and bruises he had gotten whilst playing at the institute had anything to say.

 

Even when Ulhan and Lay where there to catch him, Luhan had an uncanny habit of falling over. So the pace that Kai was dragging him at, really didn't help his balance. 

Luhan was surprised by the time they had gotten to the room in. He was also silently thanking God for not letting him fall on his face in front of the ungodly handsome man.

 

Kai pushed Luhan into a seat that was in the corner of the room. As Luhan's weight plopped down onto it, it creaked and tilted back a little. Kai leaned down and hovered over the startled male.

 

His warm breath fanned over Luhan. “Relax babe, you’re so tense. Let's get to know each other.” He said with a husky tone.

 

Luhan could smell the smoke that tainted his breath, he wondered if fire breathers had the same problem as smokers.

 

“Who’s babe? I-I’m Luhan.” Kai just smirked at the innocent boy.

 

“Tell me about yourself  _ Luhan. _ ” He said leaning ever so close, his lips brushing over Luhan's neck.

 

“W-What do y-you want to k-know?”

 

“Anything baby, tell me whatever you want.”

 

Luhan pouted and pushed Kai away, “I'm not a child, don't call me a baby.” 

 

Kai laughed and advanced on Luhan again, this time he left a few wet kisses on his collarbone.

 

“Well how about you show me just how grown up you really are?” He said peppering kisses down the side of Luhan’s jaw. 

 

This happened many times with Lay, he knew exactly what to do. So as Luhan's eyes started to darken, he pushed Kai back slightly, so that he was looking at his face. 

 

Kai leaned in and-

 

~*~

 

Luhan blinked bleary from the bright light, “Sorry, let me quickly adjust that,” said a sweet sounding voice.

 

_ Where was he?  _ He looked around and found himself back in the doctor's office with his nurse. He was slightly confused but brushed it off.  _ Maybe he was daydreaming. _

 

“Dr Jin you really need to get a better lamp.” 

 

“I know but my assistant Namjoon keeps breaking them so I would rather buy the cheap ones.” 

 

“Why don't you just fire him then?” Choa asked in disbelief.

 

“I can't do that, that would be utterly heartless. Well anyway, that pretty much sums up our session for today, we had a good talk. It was nice meeting you,” Jin said with a warm smile. “See you next week Luhan!” 

 

As Choa and Luhan left the building, she turned to a dazed looking Luhan and spoke in a soft tone, as if she was worried he might go psycho on her. 

 

“You have one more place to go to today, but you’ll be alone. The support group is at 5 o’clock, so we have a little over an hour to kill. Let's get some tea?”

 

Luhan nodded as a small smile formed on his lips. Choa couldn't deny he was good looking, it was just a shame that he was crazy, he would have made some pretty girl happy otherwise.

 

This was the first time Luhan ever had ‘Boba’ Tea, and he loved it. Choa sat him down in the back corner of the cafe. She had done most of the talking and mostly went on and on about the Therapy session earlier. Outlining what he should expect when he goes to the Support group.

 

“You did pretty well today! Except for the mishap where you skipped school for most of the day and sat in the garden. But hey, I was proud of you during the therapy session.”

 

Strangely enough, Luhan couldn’t remember one thing that happened during the session.  _ What did he say? What did they talk about? What happened?  _ It almost felt like he was a stranger to his own body. 

 

“I want you to be as good as you were in the session at the  Support Group. Now I know it’s a weird name, ‘Support Group’, but I promise you will like it. You might even make friends! And guess who's going to be in charge?”

 

“Who?” Luhan asked softly.

 

“Principal J.M! You know, from your school? He funds the group and holds it at the Chapel at school. So you’ll at least know your way around.” Choa said and took a sip of her tea. She checked the time and gasped.

 

“Let’s get going, it’s almost time.”

 

Choa dropped Luhan off at the gates of his school, this was his second time coming here, so he very faintly remembered where everything was.  

 

He spotted the giant chapel after a while of mindlessly milling around. Luhan walked up the steps and pushed the giant door. 

 

Although this Chapel looked different from the one from the Asylum by a smidge, it still brought back memories.

 

Bitter memories.

 

He walked towards the front of the Chapel, while his hands brushed the fine oak benches. There was a faint sound of an organ playing. It was a hauntingly hollow sound, but Luhan found it calming and peaceful.

Choa gently put her hand on Luhan’s shoulder and he turned to look at her. “Looks like you’re the first one here. Wait here, Principal J.M will be here shortly, I'll pick you up once it's finished. Be a good boy now.” 

 

“Wait you're leaving me again?” Luhan asked in a panicked voice. He didn't want to be in a place like this by himself, especially with the onslaught of memories.

 

“Well I have other things to do, you're a grown boy, you can’t expect me to hold your hand.”

 

Just then, someone walked in. 

 

“Ah, see Headmaster J.M is here now. You’re in good care, I’ll see you later Luhan!” Choa said as she bowed at the Headmaster and rushed out. 

 

“You must be Luhan, am I correct?” Headmaster J.M asked as he walked up and sat down in front of Luhan. 

 

Luhan nodded his head until he looked up at the Headmaster’s face. “M-monsignor S-Suho?”

 

The headmaster let out a hearty laugh as he placed his hand over Luhan's knee and gave it a tight squeeze. “Suho is my brother, I’m Junmyeon.”

 

“Oh…” Luhan wanted to ask if he had another brother, but he didn’t want to pry.

 

“Let’s go to the meeting room, everyone will be there soon.” 

 

The Headmaster got up and lead Luhan to a set of stairs in the back of the chapel that lead to a lower level.

 

There was a set of chairs in the formation of a circle. There was a huge cross on the ceiling and on the wall, there was a quote in huge cursive letters that said “ **Mental illness** _ is just a  _ **fashionable** _ way of saying  _ **SIN** ”

 

Luhan sat down on one of the chairs, and the Headmaster sat down across from him. He stared at Luhan, but Luhan trained his focus on everything except the only person in the room. After a few minutes passed, people started to walk in. Soon enough, all seven seats were filled.

 

Headmaster Junmyeon clasped his hands together and stood up, “Welcome everyone! I’m glad you all made it to the very first session of  _ ‘God’s Inner Circle’.  _ Let’s start with the introductions, okay? Today’s session will be very short as we discuss some stuff about ourselves.” 

 

He pulled out a golden crucifix and handed it to the first boy on his right. “Introduce yourself and pass it on.” Luhan looked around at the very very familiar faces around him. He knew these people, and he already met them. This felt like a very trippy Deja vu. 

 

The boy who held the crucifix stared at it in his hands. He seemed far too skinny, in fact he didn’t look anywhere near healthy. His cheeks were gaunt and his eyes seemed too tired to be awake. If one looked closely, they could notice the slight tremor in his hands. His clothes seemed too big for him but it was easy to tell that the size of his clothing was probably the smallest size there was. 

Nevertheless, he took the deepest breath he could and spoke up. “Hello, my name is...Baekhyun… and I’m… afraid of eating and gaining weight…”

 

“Basically he’s an anorexic little brat who thinks smoking cigarettes is equivalent to eating food,” The boy next to him scoffed. 

 

Baekhyun elbowed him for that remark. “At least I can stay focused for longer than five fucking minutes.”

 

“Ow! What the fuck Baekhyun?! What’s your fucking problem?”

 

“You. You’re my fucking problem Chanyeol.  _ Damn nympho _ .”

 

The tall boy glared at the short one, “it's not my fault you’re skinny as fuck and have sharp ass elbows” he hissed.

 

“Settle down, settle down. Pass the Crucifix on Baekhyun.” The Headmaster said.

 

“I’m Chanyeol and I like burying my cock in some nice ass, any ass is fine. ” Chanyeol said with pride. 

 

“Too bad you can’t stay focused on a subject for longer than five minutes,” Baekhyun mumbled as he looked away with his bony arms crossed.

 

The crucifix was passed to another familiar boy who this time, didn’t have a shit eating grin across his face. “I’m Jongdae, and I’m a kleptomaniac and I also have a gambling problem,” he said quickly as he passed the crucifix to the next boy.

 

Luhan immediately recognized the next boy. 

 

Big doe eyes, heart shaped lips.

 

“H-hi I’m Kyungsoo… I’m uhm… I’m not afraid to rip a… bunny apart. In fact I fucking love it! Oh my god… no, no I don’t!” He said as he quickly covered up his mouth to prevent himself from saying anything else.

 

The crucifix was quickly shoved in the hands of the boy next to Kyungsoo. The boy flinched at the sudden contact of skin against his, but quickly hid it. He cleared his throat and looked down at the crucifix and back up at all the faces in the room. His eyes landed on Luhan's, and a smirk quickly formed on his lips when Luhan stared back at him.

 

“I’m Sehun and well, let’s go through the list of problems that are behind my pretty face, shall we? I’m, in general, unlikable and hard to relate to. I’m emotionally unavailable most of the time and I have a hard time differentiating between romantic and platonic feelings. But I don’t care about feelings. Moving on, I have no skills for maintaining interpersonal relationships. I’m addicted to drugs, I hate being touched, and don’t even get me started on how  _ disgusting  _  and  _ filthy _ sex is. Basically I’m a genophobe who deals with his anger issues by spending his daddy’s money. Thank you very much.” He said and handed the crucifix to the boy in thick rimmed glasses next to him.

 

“Thank you Sehun for sharing with us all of that, how brave of you,” The headmaster complimented.

 

_ It’s that boy from the hallway… or… the fire breather? What was his name?  _ Luhan thought as the boy struggled to speak up.

 

“I’m J-jongi-in, I have a bad case of s-social anxiety and ombroph-phobia.” Jongin stuttered as he handed the crucifix to the very last person in the circle, Luhan.

 

Luhan took a deep breath and spoke in a low tone, “I’m Luhan, and I have… hanahaki disease… schitzo… frenia?… and uhm,” Luhan looked up as if the word would appear. But it didn’t appear, instead, Hannie whispered it in his ear. “Short term memory span!” Luhan said happily.

 

The rest of the time that was spent at GIC, was just the Headmaster talking about biblical verses that related to today’s modern society. 

 

At 7 PM, the group was dismissed after the Headmaster recited the quote on the wall for the hundredth time that session. _ “Mental illness is the fashionable way of saying sin. But worry not my children, God’s Inner Circle will cleanse us. Have a blessed night.” _

  
  


* * *

A/N:

Comment below your current theories! I'd love to hear your thoughts on this chapter its the longest one yet!   


	7. Burning Beginnings

 

 

**__ **

**_A/N: I recomend you listen to[this ](http://youtubeloop.net/watch?v=yc_udCSi3qo)and [this  ](http://www.rainymood.com/)at the same time for better reading quality effect~_ **

* * *

 

Minutes felt like hours.

 

Hours felt like days.

 

However the moon was relentless with its reign, the dark night was still out prowling,meaning an insignificant amount of time must’ve passed.

 

Luhan was never one to ponder on the concept of time and such. He had always found ways to keep himself busy. Nonetheless the harsh feeling of insomnia had its clutches on the innocent male.

So there he sat in the corner of his room, one arm hugging his knees tight against his chest, while his free hand rested on the cold ground, goosebumps prominent on his skin. His fingers drew non-existent shapes on the smooth wooden floor.

 

Across from him sat a rusty old bucket, right in the middle of his room.

 

**_Drip_ **

 

**_Drop_ **

 

**_Drip_ **

 

**_Drop_ **

 

**_Drip_ **

 

**_Drop_ **

 

Sadly, there was only a singular bucket to battle the leak from dribbling onto his floor. Knowing the bad fortune that haunted the boy meant there was another leak in Luhan's ceiling, but it wasn’t as bad as the one that the bucket was battling.

 

There was less than half of  the amount of drips leaking out from that particular patch in his ceiling- nevertheless, rain still seeped through- dripping right on top of his small measly bed. It had been raining hard for the past few hours which had taken a toll on his weak ceiling.

 

Luhan stared out the window but couldn’t see anything. It was too dark and too foggy. That kind of weather pleased him.

 

_236… 237… 238… 239…_ Luhan counted with his eyes screwed shut as each drip splashed into the bucket. He hoped the counting would aid him to falling into the hands of sleep and the warm embrace of unconsciousness.

 

An icy hand snaked itself through his light, brown locks. Luhan didn’t even need to open his eyes to know who the stranger who had crept up on him was. The hand started stroking down his hair and past his jaw. Luhan just let himself relax into the touch.

 

The second he had, the hand suddenly grabbed a fistful of hair, yanking his head up and leaving his neck exposed. A familiar pair of lips began trailing kisses along Luhan's warm nape.

 

The temperatures of the two bodies were like fire and ice but the ice was stronger.

 

Lay always overpowered Luhan.

 

Lay’s tongue darted out and began licking the side of Luhan’s neck down to the edge of his shoulder. At this, Luhan let out a small dangerous moan.

 

“You know if I had the chance I would make you feel so good. I would punish you for letting those foolish people touch you, bend you over my knee and spank your pale milky skin until it's pink and raw.” Lay began to whisper, images of Luhan withering under his touch made his mind cloud with lust.

 

“I think I should be the one to take your virginity, fuck you so fast and sweet that you would never crave anything but me again. I'd fill you up so good, you would scream my name, and so hard that you wouldn't be able to walk for days.”

 

Lay’s eyes became lidded, he was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't notice the blush that crawled across Luhan's cheeks. Lay could barely suppress his own moans as he felt himself getting hard. He needed to leave now before he did something he would regret, besides he had to take care of the hard-on that threatened to tear his pants.

  


~*~

 

Luhan was walking towards the school. By now he had memorized the route, after all he had used it near about a hundred times, especially when Hannie visited during his free time to play.

 

Luhan had barely slept last night due to a certain _someone,_ which resulted in him having deep purple bags under his eyes. Choa was too much in a rush this morning to notice, even when she rushed Luhan to change into his uniform and brushed out his hair with her fingers instead of a comb.

 

Now, due to the lack of proper help, his hair was disheveled and his buttons weren’t in their proper holes. His shoelaces weren’t tied and his messenger bag was lazily slumped over his shoulder.

 

Luhan was so exhausted that he didn’t even realize the sky was drizzling rain, until he began feeling chilliness and fat droplets hit his puffy cheeks.

 

He stopped walking and lifted his hands so that they were parallel with the pavement. The raindrops were welcomed as he met them with open palms. He looked around, to see if anyone else was as happy as him, when he saw Lay standing right next to him, a light blush colored Luhan's cheeks as he thought back to last night's events.

 

“Your cheeks are pink,” Lay noted aloud as his finger stroked Luhan's now damp cheek.

 

“No they’re not,” Luhan said with a shy defiance before averting his gaze. The wind began to become stronger, making the rain slap Luhan's face, as the minutes passed by.

 

“Why does it have to rain?” Luhan said as he became entranced once more by the raindrops that kept on relentlessly falling.

 

Lay kept his heavy gaze on Luhan as he replied, “Because the sky is crying.”

 

Once the answer left Lay’s lips, Luhan's full attention was focused on the puddles forming around him. He bent down and took off his shoes and socks. Luhan took a step forward into the puddle and wiggled his toes in the murky water. Whether he was standing on an empty sidewalk or full, he didn’t care what others would think if he was barefoot.

 

It was strange, yes.

 

But Luhan was the definition of _strange._

 

He begrudgingly put his shoes back on and continued his walk to school. Uncaring that his clothes were now drenched and his hair was plastered to his forehead. Luhan turned his head once more to take one last look at Lay but the male was already gone.

 

Luhan sighed as he tilted his head back and looked at the sky. Unconsciously he whispered, “I wonder what made it upset…” a pout forming on his lips.

 

Lay heard the boy’s whisper and his heart clenched. He wanted to hug the boy when he saw his disappointed face as he thought Lay had disappeared and left him again. He felt bad that he was spying on the innocent boy but he argued with his guilt. He could be considered omnipresent, almost like a guardian angel watching over the boy, even if he was technically the complete opposite.

 

When the boy looked down he had the most adorable pout on his face. Lay felt himself melt and wanted to kiss it away. He knew, that despite all his precautions, he was falling a little more deeply in love every time he was him.

 

This was _not good._

 

~*~

 

Luhan stood before the school gates as the rain poured down mercilessly. He paused when he heard little whimpers, almost like a puppy. He looked around confused but he couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. However curiosity got the better of him and he decided to find out what was making the noise.

 

It was hard to follow the sounds when the raindrops were so loud. He focused his hearing and he realised it was coming from a small alley way. He saw a boy shaking violently whilst hugging his knees. He looked absolutely terrified.

 

_So that’s where the sounds were coming from,_ Luhan thought as he walked towards the boy and kneeled next to him. Luhan pulled out one of the umbrellas that Choa bought for him but he refused to use. It took a few extra seconds as fidgeted with it until it finally opened and hovered it above the boy's head.

 

Luhan leaned closer to take a clearer look at the boy's face. At the same time the boy raised his head to look at Luhan. Their eyes met but the boy quickly averted his gaze.

 

_Oh, it’s him… what was his name?_ Luhan thought as he scrunched his brows.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong? Aren’t you going to go to school?” Luhan asked, patting the boy's shoulder gently.  

 

The boy didn’t respond to his question, instead he leaned in closer to the warmth Luhan was emitting.

 

“Do you want me to stay?” Luhan asked as he rested his chin on top of his hands on his knees.

 

The boy nodded his head slowly.

 

“Okay.” Luhan said. “What’s your name?”

 

It took a few minutes but under Luhan's intense gaze the boy replied, albeit quietly. Luhan could’ve almost missed it if hadn't been looking so intriguingly. “Jongin.”

 

“You don’t talk much, do you Jongin-ssi?”

 

Jongin timidly shook his head.

 

“Do you not like the rain??”

 

Jongin shook his head again.

 

“I kinda like the rain but I wish the sky would always be happy.”

 

A few minutes of silence passed. Luhan didn’t mind that Jongin wasn’t talking. He had spent an unbelievably longer duration of time in silence before when the nuns had punished him by putting him in confinement.  

 

Luhan didn’t like the confinement rooms that much. They would put him in this weird coat that had the sleeves wrap around him. It wasn’t very comfortable for him but it was considerably better than other things he’d been through.

 

“Jongin-ssi, do you know why it rains? It rains because the sky gets upset. I think it should be our job to cheer it up.”

 

Jongin looked at Luhan in confusion, “How could we possibly cheer up the sky?”

 

“Mmm, I dunno,” Luhan shrugged, “Maybe sing it a song?”

 

“But the rain song is for children.” The boy whined offhandedly.

 

“There’s a rain song?! Woah, how does it go?” Luhan said with glee in his eyes.

 

“You don’t know it? It goes like ‘ _rain rain go away, come back again another day_ ’,” Jongin sing-songed.

 

Luhan stared at Jongin in awe.

 

They sat like that for a good half hour, Luhan humming the tune of the rain song religiously. Once the rain had cleared up, Luhan stood up and stuck his hand out to help Jongin up.

 

Jongin took Luhan's hand and trailed slowly behind Luhan, as the pale boy practically skipped to school, singing the rain song over and over.

 

They stepped into the school dripping wet. Luhan noticed how drenched he was when he had gotten hit by a wave of cool air from the conditioned building.

 

Luhan felt a tug on his blazer which made him turn around, finding Jongin's fingers lingering on the hem of Luhan's blazer.

 

“Uhm...T-thanks for staying with me, Luhan-ssi,” Jongin said shyly before quickly turning around and scurrying away, leaving a dripping wet Luhan in the middle of the hallway.

 

~*~

 

“Good morning class, today we’re going to have a new seating plan so please come to the front and grab a piece of paper from the box when your name is called.” The teacher said as she held up a plastic box with folded pieces of paper inside it.

 

She called each and every name, every student walked up and grabbed a piece of paper and read it. There were only two reactions, they would either get excited or walk back to their new seat as though they were walking towards their death.

 

Coincidentally (one that Luhan was unsure of how to feel about), Sehun was seated right next to Luhan, a sour look marring his features. On the other side sat, the boy who had been scared of the rain, Jongin.

 

Luhan was practically a genius at math. It’s what he and Hannie had done to kill time back at the asylum. Luhan could easily count up to 2000 in a single sitting. Numbers have never and could never bore him. Or so he thought.

 

Sehun, who was sat on right side of him… loved numbers too, multiple digit numbers the most, in his bank account that is.

 

“Soooo,” Sehun began, trying to catch a busy Luhan’s attention. “What are you doing tonight?”

 

Luhan looked up and brought his pen to his pouty lips as he thought, “I don’t really know. Ms Choa is in charge of what I do. You can ask her.” Luhan said as he went back to the work that had been assigned to the both of them.  

 

“I see that you like to be a good boy and follow orders yeah? Does she spank you if you're _bad_ , pretty boy?”

 

Luhan’s breath hitched at the reminder of spanks. It had him think back to when he would get punished by Sister St Clair. However another thought overcame it - Lay mentioning pink and raw “I-I don’t like getting… spanked. It hurts and it makes it hard to sit.”

 

“I know something else that makes it hard to sit but instead it hurts in a good way,” Sehun said with a smirk.

“Really! What?” Luhan asked with excited innocence.

 

“Maybe I'll show you one day but you have to be a very good boy and listen to everything I say and do everything I tell you to do.”

 

“Ooooh, I’m so excited _hyung._ ” Luhan said, almost squealing with joy.

 

“Yah, why the fuck are you calling me hyung? Do I look like your brother or something? Or are you into some weird incest shit?” Sehun sneered.

 

“B-but you said-”

 

“Tell you what, seeing as you seem to have some sort of family kink, you can call me daddy.” Sehun said with an almost sarcastic tone. He definitely wasn't expecting what happened next.

 

A look of confusion crossed Luhan's face, “I thought you told me you didn’t wanna be my father though. Did you change your mind? I was thinking of maybe calling you abeoji or appa.” Luhan said with a cute pout.

 

Sehun looked at the boy weirdly, unable to figure out if Luhan was being for real or fucking about with him.

 

Luhan took the silence as an agreement, “Okay then, how do I do this _daddy_?” Luhan asked somewhat shyly, pointing at the foreign word on his tongue.

 

Sehun was stunned, he hadn't expected the boy to take him seriously and despite himself, he couldn’t think of a comeback. This boy seemed to ruin all his expectations.

 

Deep down, a small part of was relishing the fact he was being called daddy. Who would have thought that **THE** Oh Sehun would be kinky, even though he despised the actual act of sex itself?

 

Luhan pouted as he was met with silence, his _daddy_ was not even replying to his question.

 

“Daddy… Daaa-ddy,” Luhan whined, waving his hand in front of Sehun’s face.

 

He sighed as he was ignored by the stoic male. He was ready to give up and ask Jongin when suddenly Hannie appeared in front of his desk. Hannie kneeled down and propped his head on Luhan's desk, peeking up at him.

 

“Hiya Lulu,” Hannie said with a yawn.

 

“Hannie, can you help me with this problem...actually two problems?”

 

“Sure, what is it?”

 

“Well first, daddy won’t answer me. He told me that he’ll be my abeoji but he isn’t responding anymore.” Luhan said pouting sadly, unaware of the questionable looks that Sehun was giving him.

 

“Oh… uhm… ask Lay. I can’t help with that. Sorry buddy.”

 

Luhan blushed as he remembered the things Lay had whispered to him last night. He swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat.

 

“Aw… okay… erm it's fine, I can figure it out myself.” He said, giving Hannie the biggest smile he could muster. Luhan was surprised when he saw an unfamiliar look on Hannie’s face, his eyes were glinting dangerously.

 

“Luhan you know I'm not a fan of Lay. I only tolerate him because of you... _But_ if he does anything to you, _anything._ You have to tell me okay _?”_

 

“Don’t worry Hannie, I’ll tell you. You _are_ my best friend anyways.” Luhan said cheerfully. Another strange look crossed Hannie’s face at the word _friend_ but Luhan didn’t notice.

 

“Can you help me with this question? I don’t understand what it says.” Luhan said looking at his paper as if it would magically solve the question.

 

Sehun stared at Luhan as he spoke to nothing but the thin air around him. If he didn’t attend GIS he would’ve felt sorry for the boy. However, everyone had their own issues and a pretty schitzo wasn’t going to change _his_ feelings.

 

Hannie took a long, hard look at the paper and began trying to solve the math equation that his Luhan was stuck on. Luhan's attention though, had drifted away and onto a blond boy sitting across the room.

 

He resembled Jongin very much but they had a few different features. Luhan nudged Jongin with his elbow gently and whispered as he pointed at the boy. “Who’s that?”

 

Jongin pushed his glasses up and whispered back, “Lee Taemin.”

 

Taemin was a fragile looking boy. He held a dazed expression and it was obvious that he was lost in his thoughts. His cheeks were gaunt and he had a small frame, although it wasn’t as small as Baekhyun’s. His hair was platinum blond and he wore oversized sweaters.

 

Luhan watched as Taemin ran his bony fingers through his hair, which caused his sleeves to rise up. He saw the bandages that were wrapped around Taemin’s wrists.

 

He knew what they meant. He had seen them multiple times at the asylum, when the other patients would sneak a razor into their cell and rip their skin apart.

 

He remembered the cries and screams when they were saved just before the sweet embrace of death could take them.

 

He could imagine how Taemin must’ve screamed and cried when he woke up alive in this world and not in the afterlife. Luhan felt sorry for him.

 

He felt sorry that Taemin couldn’t have his final peace.

 

Luhan grabbed his right shoulder as felt and intense burning sensation spread towards his back. He abruptly got up and ran towards the bathroom.

 

Water. Cold water.

 

Hannie ran after him as he ran into the empty stall and turned on the faucet. He took off his shirt at the speed of light and stared into the mirror.

 

His fingers trailed the branch shapes that were forming on his skin, the burning sensation long forgotten.

 

Luhan stared at his reflection in awe.

 

There were sakura buds and branches adorning his right side. A total of eleven buds and one singular petal attached to a branch.

 

The petal was a pastel pink and despite it not moving, it threatened to fall off the branch.

* * *

  


**A/N: Hello!**

**_Any new theories? The ending was a major beginning to the action that will be coming soon;)_ **

**_Till next time~_ **

 

**_BTW here's a visual of Luhans body after this chapter, i had this specially drawn! Credits go to PastelWolf88! She's amayixing~_ **

**__ **

**_More visuals:_ **

 


	8. Floating

 

 

Luhan's fingers absentmindedly traced the shape of the petal that was beneath the side of his jacket. He stared out the window as his english professor went on and on about the language Luhan had no interest in. English.

 

It had been almost a week since he had last been at the circus. At this point, he just believed it was merely a dream that felt way too real. 

 

His thoughts, that day, revolved around two people. Two people who looked so similar, but were polar opposites.

 

_ Kai, and Jongin. _

 

The Kai he knew at the circus was…

 

**_*Flashback*_ **

 

_ “Tell me about yourself Luhan.” Kai said leaning ever so close, his lips brushing over Luhan's neck. _

_ “W-What do you want to k-know?” _

_ “Anything baby, tell me whatever you want.” _

_ Luhan pouted and pushed Kai away, “I'm not a child, don't call me a baby.” _

_ Kai laughed and advanced on Luhan again, this time he left a few wet kisses on his collarbone. _

_ “Well how about you show me just how grown up you really are?” He said peppering kisses down the side of Luhan’s jaw. _

_ This had happened many times with Lay, he knew exactly what to do. This meant that, as Luhan's eyes started to darken, he pushed Kai back slightly, so that he was looking at his face. _

_ Kai leaned in, placing his plump lips on Luhan's. The feeling of skin against skin made his heart race. Kai swiped his tongue against Luhan's bottom lip to coax his mouth open.  _

 

_ Kai’s tongue explored every inch of Luhan’s mouth. Luhan let out a whiny moan when Kai broke the kiss, but the absence was short lived as soon enough Kai's mouth was on his again. _

 

_ Luhan began to grind slowly on the tan male, making him throw his head back from the ministrations. Luhan took the opportunity, to leave kisses on Kai's neck, as he began to unbutton Kai's shirt. _

 

_ Kai suddenly grabbed his fingers and let out an almost primal growl. His eyes had darkened so much that Luhan could practically see his reflection in them causing Kai’s mouth to curl up into a devilish smirk.  _

 

_ “Yours first,” Kai said with a rough voice, arousal laced in his tone.  _

 

_ Kai wasted no time in pulling the fabric off when Luhan raised his arms. Luhan let his hands rest on the tan male's shoulders as the latter began to worship the offered skin with his kisses. _

 

_ Kai’s mouth latched onto one of Luhan’s nipples, his tongue swirling around the bud. Luhan had never heard a more sensual moan leave his mouth.  _

 

_ Luhan began to unbutton Kai’s shirt again, wanting to feel more of the tanned skin under his fingertips. He had barely undone the first few when suddenly Suho burst into the room, he glared at Luhan before addressing Kai. _

 

_ “We have work to do, you can fuck the new boy later,” the short man hissed, as he unabashedly stared at Kai's tent. The tall male pushed Luhan to the side and got up. _

 

_ But before he left, he gave Luhan a look that said they weren’t finished. _

***Flashback End***

 

Jongin had appeared exactly like Kai, but the way he acted in front of Luhan really confused the boy. 

 

Jongin was full of fear. It seemed as though the slightest touch could break the boy, as though he was made of the most fragile glass. 

 

Luhan could clearly remember the way that Jongin cowered in fear in the alley due to the rain. The way he was on the verge of tears when it was his turn to speak at the support group meeting.

 

Luhan really wanted to get closer to the aforementioned boy, but every time he would come closer, the latter would shy away and disappear. Luckily for him, today was Tuesday, meaning there was another meeting being held later that day. 

 

He was beginning to slowly adjust at school, although he still didn’t care much for what was being taught. He had already learnt most of what they were teaching back at the Asylum with Sister St.Clair. The math he had been taught there was at the level of an advanced college student his current math teacher told him- or whatever that meant. 

 

Luhan looked forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays the most. It was when he could finally see his ‘friends.’ None of the support group members gave him much thought and never really spoke to him- except for Sehun of course. Sehun would actually talk to him during lessons, but most of the time, Luhan didn’t understand the words that came out of Sehun's mouth.

 

His gaze drifted outside the window and to a lake that looked as if it was demanding to be hidden under the tree’s shadows. However it was still visible to Luhan, especially from where he was sitting.

 

“Look,” Hannie said as he pointed towards a corner in the lake. “Otters.”

 

A smile crept up on Luhan's face as he watched a pair of otters flow gently above the water. 

 

“They’re holding hands Lulu,” Hannie whispered as he stuck his face flat against the window. “Do you wanna try that?” 

 

Luhan nodded slowly as he stared in awe. 

 

~*~

 

During lunch, Luhan would normally sit at the Grand Fountain and nap. The fountain was practically abandoned since hardly anyone went there. Nobody even went to clean up the overgrown weeds or to remove the fallen leaves that had fallen into the fountain. 

 

The gates no longer had any visible bars as the vines grew and grew, causing the gates to become akin to a barricade around the place. Luhan noticed how the statues had all kinds of fungus growing over them, giving them a light greenish tint.

 

There were wild white roses everywhere. Sometimes Hannie would make flower crowns and rings for Luhan while the boy napped. Sadly, despite how pretty his usual hang out spot was, Luhan had other plans. He wouldn’t be going to the fountain today, no, he would be going to the hidden lake. 

 

He wanted to float and hold hands in the water like the otters. He wanted to know what it felt like to hold someone dear and trust them to not let go.

 

For a moment, the boy thought of taking Jongin with him. He suddenly stopped walking when he remembered how scared the boy was of water, there was no way he would agree to come. In the next few miliseconds that went by Luhan found himself being knocked onto the floor.

 

“Yah what are you- oh it’s just you. Whatcha doin baby?” Sehun asked with a raised brow.

 

_ Why does everyone insist on calling me  _ **_baby_ ** _? I’m a grown boy. Not a child. _ Luhan thought but quickly brushed away the complaints.

 

“I want to go somewhere.” Luhan said as another idea sprung into his mind. “Come with me,” he said as a wide smile played on his lips. Luhan grabbed Sehun's hand and began running outside and towards the lake.

 

Moments later, Sehun found himself being pulled through the woods behind the school. He wanted to jump out of his skin. The woods contained so many unknown germs and other filthy things. The floor was probably covered in animal feces, maybe even human feces. 

 

People sometimes fucked in the woods while animals definitely mated, making the woods ten million times worse for Sehun as he thought of all the disgusting things that went on in what people called “ _ Nature”. _

 

“We’re here,” Luhan whispered. 

 

The two stood before a vast lake. The water’s shimmered as the sun rays shun over it. When people looked at a calm lake, they would see the beauty that the scenery held. But not Sehun. 

 

Sehun looked too much into the hidden details that tainted the beauty. The water must’ve been filthy with god knows what falling into it. The ground they stood on contained millions of bacteria and tiny creatures. Even the air is contaminated from the droplets that evaporated out the lake.

 

Nevertheless, Sehun couldn’t move a muscle, even when the calm lake broke into ripples as Luhan walked straight in, swaying his hands gently in the water.

 

Sehun could feel his hands begin to tremble as one of the most purest beings he’s ever laid eyes on, Luhan, stood in the middle of the most filthiest places he could think of.

 

“Hunnie hyung! Come in!” Luhan chirped as he signaled for the latter to come close.

 

Sehun hesitantly shook his head. 

 

Luhan slowly walked up to Sehun with a confused expression. “Hunnie, why won’t you come in? Are you also scared of water?”

 

“What? No. It’s just gross. The water is dirty.”

 

Luhan looked at the sparkling water around him and shook his head in disagreement. “No it’s not. See.” Luhan said as he ran his hand through the clear water. “If you’re really that scared then… we could hold hands.”

 

“And why would we do that?” Sehun asked incredulously.

 

“Because that’s what otters do. Duh!” Luhan said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world.

 

_ What the hell? It’s freezing cold out here. Who the fuck goes swimming in this damn weather? No one but Luhan of course.  _ Sehun thought as he unconsciously grabbed the hand Luhan had stuck out for him.

It seemed like Luhan was slowly breaking all of Sehun’s rules. Sehun was completely revolted by germs, not to mention being touched by someone else's hands. Yet here he was, grabbing onto Luhan's hand  _ and _ stepping right into the large pool of germs. 

 

The water felt crispy around Sehun's legs. The weather was cold for sure, but the water gave the weather a crisp feeling which seemed to relax Sehun.  _ Maybe the world isn’t as filthy as he thought… as long as the world contained Luhan of course. _

 

Luhan looked like an excited kid as he beamed at Sehun. “Hunnie… I want to float. I want to float like the otters.” 

 

“I-I’ve never done that… I’m not sure if I can even swim. Sorry.” Sehun mumbled.

 

“Oh… well then how bout we go under the water first. Here hold my other hand too.” Luhan said.

 

Sehun took a minute to consider his current circumstance. If he was able to step knee-deep in a lake, and feel this relaxed, then he should be able to go fully in the water too. Go big or go home, right?

 

Sehun hesitantly nodded as the two slowly walked deeper and deeper into the water until they were fully submerged in the lake. Luhan blinked his eyes open once they were under the water.

 

The first time he blinked, he could see how Sehun resembled a porcelain doll and how peaceful, yet slightly hesitant, his expression was.

 

Luhan blinked again, and the image was suddenly gone. He was floating in darkness. He looked around, he was still under water but it was complete utter darkness.

 

The third time he blinked, he was startled by the sound of shattering glass. He looked down at his hands and saw broken glass by his feet.

 

_ He was back.  _

 

Luhan looked up and found himself sitting at a dining table surrounded by the circus members.

 

_ “Looks like it’s not a dream after all,”  _ Hannie whispered.

 

“Oh look! Lulu dropped the cup… Suho isn’t going to be happy about that…” Baekhyun said mischievously. 

 

“Hey has anyone seen my stabby grabby?” Chanyeol asked with a confused look.

 

From across the table, Chen held up a silver fork with a smirk. “What’s a stabby grabby?” 

 

Chanyeol looked appalled for a moment before he stood up abruptly, slamming his fists against the table. 

 

“THAT’S MY FUCKING STABBY GRABBY BITCH! GIVE IT BACK BEFORE IT STABS AND GRABS YOUR SHITTY HEART YOU THIEF,” he screamed before he grabbed whatever was on his plate and threw it at Chen. 

 

Chen’s expression turned into a look of pure disgust as he wiped the remnants of mashed potato off his face. Xiumin turned and began helping Chen wipe his face clean when he suddenly too had food smashed against his face.

 

“What the hell was that for?!” Xiumin sneered as flames could be seen in his eyes.

 

The culprit, Baekhyun, shrugged. “I dunno. I felt left out.”

 

In less than a second, Xiumin was on top of Baekhyun choking him for his actions. “I swear you’re like ten feet up that giant's fucking ass.”

 

Kris sat silently at the table, even among all the commotion, until he heard a few sniffles from the seat beside him, Tao. At times like this, Kris had no idea what to do, so he goes with the first thing that comes to mind. 

 

He tried to comfort Tao the way he would be comforted, snakes. Kris held up his arm and let one of his snakes slither onto the table from his sleeve but quickly made it slither back when Tao shrieked at the sight. 

 

Tao was screaming and flailing like crazy which made it harder for Kris to hold him down. With quick moves, Kris pulled his scarf off and tied it around Tao’s hands to keep him in place. 

 

He wrapped his arms around the smaller and began whispering sweet nothingness into his ear which seemed to be working as he stopped shaking and instead relaxed into his hold.

 

“I knew it! Kris is totally into that kinky tieing shit! So that’s what those handcuffs were for,” Chen said out loud cheekily. 

 

Kris shot a murderous death glare at Chen which only resulted in the latter shrugging, “Hey, if you’re into that kinda stuff, then be my guest. Just make sure to hide those fluffy bad boys somewhere better next time.”

 

The dinner was quite lively as more bickering and more commotion played out. A door creaking open was heard but no one paid much attention to it. That is until the talking came to a halt, due to a figure walking to the table and pouring himself a glass of the richest wine. 

 

“Well well well… aren’t we lively tonight. What ever is the occasion?”

 

“Lay!” Exclaimed Luhan, who was eating next to Kai. The boy sprung out of his seat and wrapped his arms around the taller. A sad expression flickered across Lay’s face, but it was too fast for anyone to noticed it. Lay wrapped his arms around Luhan and kissed the top of his head. 

 

The circus members were frozen in shock. They were scared stiff and confused at the same time, since their latest member, Luhan, was hugging and accepting kisses from…  _ him. _

 

“Lay, can you see all of my new friends?” Luhan asked excitedly, with an innocent smile on his face.

 

“Yes Lulu, I can. Are they treating you well?” Lay asked.

 

Luhan nodded eagerly in response.

 

“Good. I hope they treat you well, because if they don’t… well let’s just say no one should bother what's precious to me.” Lay’s gaze drifted across each and every members face until it landed on the dinner table. 

 

“Are you all not going to tidy up the place? Or did you expect Luhan to do it? Clear up the place now.” Lay commanded. The moment those words came out of Lay’s mouth, all the circus members were scurrying and picking up whatever they could off the table.

 

Lay sauntered towards a pouting Luhan and held his chin. “Why do you look so unhappy?” 

 

“You’re not being very nice to my new friends.” Luhan said as his gaze sank to the floor.

 

Lay’s hands glided down, gently tugging the fabric down Luhan's slim shoulders. His lips came in contact with Luhan’s shoulder, “I’m sorry Lulu… I promise to be nicer next time.” He began peppering kisses down his shoulder, uncaring that the members stared at the scene before them.

 

Soon enough, Luhan was almost shirtless as all his buttons came undone under Lay’s swift fingers. “Lay… my friends are watching. I-I don’t think this is a very good time for this…”

 

Lay gazed into Luhan’s eyes, his face inching closer and closer to the deer like boy. “It’s a perfect time, my dear,” he said as he locked his lips on Luhan's, his hands unbuttoning the last button causing Luhan's shirt to fall to the ground around his feet.

 

Once Luhan’s shirt was off, his milky white skin was on display to all the members. The ring leader’s breath hitched at the sight. 

 

There were branches. 

 

Buds. 

 

And a single petal threatening to fall off.

 

This only meant one thing.

 

_ “It’s time to start the annual obituaries…” Suho mumbled in all seriousness. _

  
  


* * *

**_A/N:_ Hiiiii!**

**I'd like to give a special lil shout out to DramaticPainter for such a spot on theory! You have it almost correct, you might have missed a thing or two, but honestly, i was shook when I read your theory. **

**I think i'll be featuring the comments/theories that are the most correct/spot on for every new chapter~**

**Don't forget to comment and tell me your theories, I love reading them <3**

**Also, thanks so much to imbyul for the lovly chapter image, (Luhan on the left, Hannie on the right)**

**Featured comment/theory:**

**I suppose yixing and hannie weren't just created by luhan's supposed bad mental health, like I thought... then what are they? Yixing is the opposite of a gardian angel...so is he a god of death? A demon? If hannie doesn't like yixing.. does it means hannie is the friend one? Buuut he felt weird being called friend... At least we leanrt that yixing is in love with lulu and that something big :D**  
Wait but if they're "real" why didn't theh help lulu before?  
And why does lulu have some magical tatoo ?? And why does he have two realities??? And why his he so miserable in both of them ! I suspect that everything is somehow linked to his mother ... but I don't know  
 ~~I'm bad at theories. Sorry I tried~~  
\- DramaticPainter

 


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